Pure and Holy Bloggers

Some useful passive aggresive condescending phrases

2011-05-28T00:06:00.000-06:00

Hey girls! I came across this and thought you'd enjoy.

Some useful passive aggresive condescending phrases
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Cheap Like Me

2011-01-08T15:14:00.003-07:00

Hey girlies, need your input. What are some of your best strategies/tips for being thrifty, saving money, budgeting, etc.? I have to do a little presentation for a RS activity next week. A lady in the RS presidency noticed that everything I print has something unrelated on the back because I reuse paper. I guess that makes me an expert on frugality {aka, a cheapo}
So give me a few ideas to get the ball rolling...
Thanks

the dude abides

2010-09-09T22:32:00.005-06:00

K Lacey, here are a couple pics for you. They're not very recent, I'm about a month behind on getting pictures from my camera to my computer. He's 14 pounds now. If we get together I promise not to let him eat Eddie as a light snack.

Haiti

2010-07-30T19:51:00.002-06:00

In case you guys didn't see Matt's blog in Haiti check it out.

post that should have gone up 3 weeks ago...

2010-07-23T21:14:00.002-06:00

got me a sweet baby boy now. he's 4 weeks today, but since i'm not even attempting to function at capacity it has taken me until now to type 3 sentences. due to technical difficulties, i don't have a picture for y'all now, but should have photos and gory details posted on my angerine blog tomorrow. here's the vital information:

cache wesley williams
born june 25
9 lbs 12 oz
22"

we love him more than double rainbows.

this drummer is at the wrong gig

2010-06-05T11:14:00.000-06:00

2010-05-12T16:03:00.003-06:00

I really hate shopping, but this might make it less miserable. Think it might really be this easy some day?

On a completely unrelated note, do any of you compost? I think I want to start composting outdoors (not on my counter top) but have very limited space and budget. Anyone?

Hello my friends!

2010-03-11T16:46:00.002-07:00

Hey everyone. I am back from Mars to say hello. Congrats to those knocked up! That's great!
I decided that although Facebook is totally lame, it was time for me to get on & talk about randon junk that nobody really cares about. Well, maybe my family lol.

Anyhoo, be my friend:)

#2

2010-02-16T20:16:00.002-07:00

Don't everyone pass out, but I am about to make a post...
I am 12ish weeks pregnant and would love to add my comment regarding Angie's 'bump' post. I already don't have a waste, In the mornings I just look fat, but by the end of the day I look like I should be nearing my 25th week. My other symptoms included the need for nothing but cheese and grease the entire 1st trimester (thus the fatness), headaches that won't go away, and a real lack of motivation for anything and everything. Other than that life is grand! :)

Happy Valentines Day, Wusses!

2010-02-14T08:10:00.002-07:00

Since my default mode these days is to cry at the slightest hint of sentimentality (damn you, Poppin Fresh Dough commercials!) I was going to make you all a playlist of the sappiest, cheesiest love songs ever for Valentines Day. But AOL already did it for me! Here's a list of the 111 Wussiest Songs of All Time. I have been totally exposed as a wuss because there are a few songs on here that I really like. Busted. This list is a few years old so it's missing some of the more recent drivel but I bet you'll find out you're a wuss too.

About a Bump

2010-01-05T20:59:00.004-07:00

I think everyone on here knows I'm pregnant...um except maybe Heather (Hey Heather, guess what! I'm knocked up!) Ok so now everyone knows.
Anyway, I've been thinking my bump is unnaturally big already. I have always had it in my mind that you "shouldn't" start showing until around the 5-month mark.

Quick digression {I'm 99% sure this idea came from something Claire Huxtable told Denise Huxtable in a "very special episode" of the Cosby Show in 1987 but that seems like a reliable-enough source of pre-natal information. I'm mean Cliff was a doctor, after all...}

Anyway, I've been all concerned about my belly size so tonight I went online and found a forum on whattoexpect.com where all the other chicks that are due the same time as me talk about every single hiccup, fart and tuna sandwich they've had since conception. I found the thread where everyone posted pictures of their 'bumps' and everyone is pretty damn big. So NOW I'm freaked out that I'm not big enough for how many weeks I am (which I think is 15???) Like the little guy stopped growing or something. ??
So my question for you gals is how far along were you when you started 'showing'? And by showing I mean, when could YOU first see the bump? and then how far along were you when other people could see it?
Also, when did you feel the first 'flutter' of movement?

I know there are books about this kind of stuff but I think I'll get more/better details by asking real people.

The Fiery Furnaces - Tropical Iceland

2009-11-21T09:13:00.001-07:00

This has nothing really to do with anything...I just wanted to contribute a post.

People of Walmart

2009-11-11T12:45:00.002-07:00

Here are the costumes we wore for the halloween party. There was another couple at the party dressed as white trash, but they were the upper-class trash. She had bleach-blond hair and a miniskirt with heels. Dan and I were the west side of the trailer park trash. I had the 3wm shirt and I was prego and smoking. I had tweety bird socks (not as good as taz) and my house arrest anklet. Is it sacrilegious to wear a g-string over your g's? My wig was ugly and I had no make-up. And tattoos. I looked so ugly. Dan suggested that I choose a sexy costume for next year. Which I will never do but I'll try to not be so ugly.

QUICK! Help!

2009-10-07T22:14:00.003-06:00

Dan and I have a Halloween party to go to this weekend. Yeah! I love halloween. I had a really good idea for Dan's costume but there's no way i can get it together in time. So i think he'll just wear last year's since nobody at this party saw him last year.

I thought i would dress white trash to match him (not that original, i know). but everything that i think of as white trash is not something i would want to wear--really short cutoffs with my g-string showing with a sports bra/bikini top (basically, britney spears).

dan suggested i browse People of Wal-Mart to get some inspiration. I really like this one. the arrest ankle bracelet would be a nice touch. I also have a 3wm shirt (though have yet to review it). Smoking while prego is trashy. Tattoos. How do i do my hair?

ANY OTHER IDEAS?

Dead Man's Bones : My Body's a Zombie For You

2009-10-01T09:17:00.001-06:00

Kickin' off the Halloween season, if there is such a thing.

2009-08-31T08:57:00.002-06:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!

You are incredibly coordinated, efficient, and great at everything you attempt. I also think you make a really cool mother.

spark recipes

2009-08-04T16:24:00.002-06:00

I thought this website was kinda cool. You can enter in your recipes and it will give you the nutritional information. This is the nutritional information for my favorite cookies. Whenever I make them I eat approximately 200 in one sitting so I started wondering how many calories they were. So I entered it into this website and Voila'. I now know I have consumed roughly 4,571 calories in the past two hours. Yay me.

Speaking More of Music...

2009-08-03T14:16:00.004-06:00

...and Death.

I just got word that one of my favorite uncles passed away this morning. He and my Dad are only a couple of years apart. As I morn I'm listening to the Wilco radio on Pandora. A bunch of really good songs are playing that I haven't heard forever. Remember the Lemonheads, Dire Straits, Pixies...

A few years ago I was hunting with my uncle and dad. My uncle spotted a dear, turned to shot but my dad was blocking his shot, so he yells "duck!". He totally took the shot. There are so many stories, buckets and buckets, of similar situations. Wayne has gone on to be with his beloved wife. She died in a horrible car crash 6 years ago.
The car caught on fire. My uncle had to watch.
I'm really going to miss him.

Speaking of Weddings

2009-07-31T15:21:00.001-06:00

I can imagine Angie doing this for her wedding. ya know, if she wasn't getting married in a holy place.

2009-07-30T21:28:00.003-06:00

{*Mont St. Michel}

I was married 7 years ago. I loved my wedding. Wellz and I planned it ourselves, paid for it ourselves, and thoroughly enjoyed the evening. We ate dutch-oven in the mountains with only close friends and family. All the flowers were wild. We hugged first then kissed during the ceremony. We were pretty proud that we were able to pull off a fantastic event.
We made a mix that played while our guests were arriving of all the songs that now signified our relationship. When we started dating my favorite band was Wilco. I was also into Flamming Lips and Beck. Wellz was rediscovering Velvet Underground, Jane's Addition, and a bunch of new stuff like Fiery Furnances. We merged all our music together and spent a lot of time in our cars "talking" and listening to album after album. Music has the power to bring us back to so many great moments in our life.
My nieces sang "our" song at the wedding. It's on the Juno soundtrack so you've probably heard it although it was once obscure - I'm sticking with you by Velvet Underground.
I think Wellz is the single most amazing man I have ever met.

*I don't have any pics from my wedding that are scanned, sorry.

CTR 7

2009-07-29T22:31:00.002-06:00

Did any of you see this? He's a good driver. Watch to the end where he gets out and runs. So busted.

Rosetta Stone

2009-07-27T07:36:00.002-06:00

dan's parents gave me Rosetta Stone Deutsch Level 1 a couple of years ago for Christmas. i was hoping to get through it before going to germany but then we got busy with moving and it got packed up.

i just found out today that dan has listed it on craigslist for $75. it costs $259 new. i have a really hard time selling things that cost a lot of money. he asked, "would you rather have $75 or this sitting on your shelf?" i would rather have it sitting on my shelf.

i was just wondering if any of you were interested in buying it.

or borrowing it.

Seriously So Blessed

2009-07-23T16:37:00.001-06:00

do any of you read this? I've known about it for awhile but just recently started following it. funny stuff.

Joy and Pain

2009-07-22T10:59:00.003-06:00

So there is a gaggle of lesbians (do lesbians come in gaggles? maybe it's a den of lesbians...) that lives in the buildings across from ours. There are 3 separate condos brimming with gay pride, including rainbow flags, rainbow wind-socks and rainbow bumper stickers on the doors and the cars. These are big girls with motor-cycle-riding lesbatude, and attending the church of the Lesbeterians. If I had to guess, I'd say they all answer to the name "coach".
So anyway, last week Tye and I were hanging on our front porch when a highly entertaining scene went down, involving lots of screaming, slamming doors, screeching tires, more yelling, some crying, and several instances of stomping away in a huff. We had a front row seat, y'all!
It reached a pinnacle when a mini-van full of big women pulled up in front of the building and one girl (who had done most of the huffy stomping) comes out of her front door screaming and crying that she "just wants her best friend back but I guess I can't have her." It was way sad, and I don't know why, but it was all I could do to not bust out laughing.
THEN, she keeps repeating the part about wanting her best friend back and each time she repeats it her voice gets higher and more shrill so eventually she is screaching "I can't have her! I can't have her!" and bashing herself on the head each time she says it. Usually I don't find so much pleasure from other peoples pain (oh wait. Yes, I do. Why else would I TiVo America's Funniest Videos?) but this whole week Tye and I just crack each other up constantly doing our reenactment of The Fight.
Then last night I saw this video of some sweet lezzie rockin out while the straight couple is fighting.

I wonder if that dancing lady went home later and cracked up her girlfriends by reenacting that girl bitching at her boyfriend. I hope so. That would restore balance to the universe.

HEATHER

2009-06-02T14:23:00.001-06:00

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY!

hope you had a good one.

I went skimming yesterday!!!!

2009-05-24T16:25:00.005-06:00

So remember Chris Hanks? He taught me to skim on the Virgin River and we had a ton of fun. Well, we're here in Maui with friends and we saw some kids out skimming on the beach. I got brave and asked if I could borrow a board and they turned me down so the next day we bought one. Well, for the first half hour I was asking myself and Danny, "Why didn't we just rent?" It was soooo hard. Anyway, after awhile we figured things out and had so much fun. If fact we couldn't end until we got hurt and had to go care our our wounds.
That night I thought about this blog cuz I learned to skim in the Virgin River (blog name rang a bell) and cuz this is the type of thing I think of you girls doing all the time. You probably don't but I feel like you do. So I feel like I have something to finally say on the blog that is Agro Schmagro. I don' t know who all of you are but if you're friends with Katie, you must be pretty cool.

By the way, about St. George, I'll have Danny drop me off Friday and then what's t he Wells B B Que all about? Are we all going? Who can't be to that? If we could all be together that day, it would be cool. Like I said, I have to teach a performing arts class Tuesday morning and my kids start swimming lessons Monday morning so the weekend would be way better for me and then Katie wouldn't have to come back. Thoughts?

2009-05-11T22:01:00.003-06:00

for danika

2009-05-11T21:47:00.006-06:00

this is not an official post. i'm just posting these pictures here so danika can get them. (click on them to get the big version, danika)

check out those knockers!

2009-05-04T17:50:00.002-06:00

sooo... all you triathaloners or just big chested people in general: i am in a quandary. i am doing the utah summer games in june and i will still be nursing baby j. you may all be remembering my b-on-a-good-day high school boobs, but when i am nursing they are quite impressive. so, what's the secret to doing a triathlon with bathing suits and transitions in my current state? this is new territory for me... advice please.

Off Base

2009-05-03T09:38:00.002-06:00

I've had something on my mind, so much so that it motivated me to blog. :) For the past 10 years I have called Shane on his birthday, weather we were dating or not, married, single etc. Two days ago I sent him a text saying happy birthday and asked when good time would be to get in touch. His reply, "my wife gets upset when I talk to you, but I think she'll be ok if we use facebook." My response, "sorry, I surely didn't mean to cause problems." At the time I felt like I understood, but now that a few days have passed I think it's super lame! Why can't we still catch up? Seriously what is the threat?
I've tried to look at it through his wife's eyes, but Im just not the jealous type. Last time Chad was in SLC he looked up on old girl friend, one that he hadn't talked to in years. Didn't bother me a bit, I guess because he was open and honest about it.
Is is asking to much to remain friends with your X's?

what's for dinner?

2009-04-25T08:40:00.002-06:00

I am stuck in a food rut lately. I have 3 or 4 things that I can think of to eat for dinner and they're all boring or gross (soup, sandwich, burrito, chicken & rice) but I can't seem to come up with anything else. I'll make a shopping list and won't be able to think of any ingredients aside from my 4 standard meals. I'll spend $180 at the grocery store and get home and think, "We've still got nothing to eat."
I do nothing all day long but preparing one meal is beyond my capacity. Tye will get home and start looking for something to eat and ask if I had anything in mind for dinner. Inevitably I'll be like, 'Oh, uhhhhhh, I had a bowl of cereal like half an hour ago so I'm not really hungry.' Or he'll say 'Let's go out, I'll take you anywhere you want' but there is not a single place that sounds good enough to me to justify putting on shoes and a jacket. (ha, as i'm reading that part it sounds like a case of depression. probably a result of my life sentence.)
So maybe you can help me mix it up a bit. I need some food inspiration. What are the default meals you feed your family?

Crazy Face

2009-04-01T21:11:00.001-06:00

Adan is one cute boy. And a good kisser.

Quick update on me!!

2009-04-01T13:01:00.002-06:00

I have been totally absent from blogging & thought I should explain. We moved into our new house last month & I've been busy with that. I have taken pictures but I don't have time to upload them right now.

Kb has been laid-off since January which has been a huge stress on us but luckily we saved money while living with his Mom! There is no work out here anymore & we are patiently waiting for the oil industry to pick back up but there's no telling what's going to happen now with our new government. So, we still don't have internet at our house until Kb gets work again. We are saving every dime we have right now.

Also, I had just finished my 1st trimester with my 4th baby but when I went in for the ultrasound last week there was no heartbeat. The baby made it to 11 weeks & was healthy so it's a mystery. I had to have a D&C last Friday & that has been really hard on me. We were so happy that we were expecting again but we will try again as soon as we can. I'm just really happy I didn't announce it to everyone but family because that would be really hard to have people constantly asking about it. Even though I'm posting it here I'm so grateful I didn't post on my other blog.

This has been without a doubt the worst 2 years of my life. I have never experienced so much stress! Things are getting better though & we are happy.

Long story short, I'm still here! Love you girls!

Observation Point 2.0

2009-03-30T12:44:00.003-06:00

Good to catch up. You guys are really cool. For real.

comfy

Sweet Baby James

2009-03-18T22:36:00.004-06:00

so... i should have posted sooner, but i did send out a classic email that i thought ya'all would get. apparently not even angie got it! oops. sweet by me... so here are some pics of baby james (not jim or jimmy) sometimes called jj or "rock-a-by baby" by his big bro's came in january, 6 lbs. 6 oz., tiny and so freakin cute. honestly, i wonder if i have ever loved like this before. everything went well and unlike last time the epideral actually worked and i got through the ordeal without screaming or passing out, vomiting, having a panic attack, and a bunch of other crap that happened with sam was born.

3 quick questions

2009-03-17T17:42:00.002-06:00

#1 Sarah, when is your due date? It's gotta be any day now right? Or is #3 already here and I missed the memo?
#2 Heather or Danika or anyone who might know- I would like to do some sort of detox/cleanse. Preferably a 7 or 10 day. Anyone know of a good one? In the past I have done "7-day detox miracle" which was good but I'd like to do something a bit more powerful (bring on the mud-eating, sludge-drinking, clay-pooping types).
#3 This is a weird one maybe but someone please give me advice on what to wear to sleep in. Every night I get BLISTERING hot (even if I only use a sheet). I can't go naked (or G's only which to me is the same as naked) because my paranoia won't let me. All I can think is, "what if there is a fire in the middle of the night and I have to run outside?" Also, I'm a bit of a tornado so long-nightgowns or scrubs type pants or oversize shirts end up getting twisted around 100 times. Plus, too hot. What is the solution?

A Self-less Gift?

2009-03-09T22:13:00.003-06:00

my friend told me the following story this weekend and i have been so disturbed by it.
her bro-in-law's sister, we'll call her amy, cannot have kids and has had at least one adoption fall through. amy's neice, we'll call her zola, said, 'i'm fertile and done having kids so i'll just get pregnant and give you the kid.' amy asks, 'you have 3 boys, what if it is a girl? will you change your mind?' zola says, 'no'. so zola and her husband concieve. not amy's eggs. not amy's husband's sperm. then they find out it is a girl. zola's husband says, 'but it is a girl, we don't have a girl. are you sure?' and zola says, 'i told her i would give it to her and i will.' so she delivers the baby and gives it to her aunt.
i think this story is SO WEIRD! being a surrogate mother is not weird at all to me. and giving your baby up for adoption because it was unplanned and you are not prepared to raise it, even to a family member is not weird to me. but i am so disturbed by this story. won't the birth mom always feel some sort of regret or at least wonder? and would the aunt feel a bit guilty? and how is the girl going to feel when she sees her biological family at reunions? will she feel like she is missing out? like she was taken/given away? will she long to be a part of her 'real' family? i think it is a bad idea. i hope it works out for them but i would never do it. not even if we were desperate to have a child.
what do you think?

Spiderman vs. Octomom--Who Will Win??

2009-02-18T14:40:00.006-07:00

my spidey-senses are telling me something just might be a little off about this crazy beeotch.
She's a single, unemployed woman with 14 kids under age 7, who lived on welfare, disability and student loans so that she could spend her money on something important--like getting plastic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie.
Then, after having a giant stack of mutant babies from an unknown sperm donor, (whose last name she occasionally uses), she starts shopping a Today Show interview, a book and reality TV show (she denies this but she hired a Publicist. Not a nurse. or a Nanny. A PUBLICIST!) The State of California is paying for her hospital bills. I feel bad for those kids.
Clearly I'm not a fan of this chick--What is your take on the Octumom?

What is your ultimate luxury?

2009-01-26T17:28:00.003-07:00

Because we've been poor for so stinkin long, Tye and I spend a lot of time dreaming about the day when we'll be filthy, bloody rich. And we play games to "help us plan" how we'll be spending all that filthy money.
One game we play is "Choose your Luxury". It's kind of like "Who Would You Do", a lovely game that perhaps none of you very pure and holy girls have ever played but it was introduced to me by my mission companion, foxy Roxy on those long, lonely days of tracting. hee hee. i wish i was joking.

So here's the game: you just name two totally kick-ass luxuries and then the other person has to choose only ONE of the two. Then that ONE has to go up against the next luxury...until you find your unbeatable, ultra-mega-dreamy luxury. Of course the game assumes that all of your necessities are covered and that you can afford one of the two things. (Just like "Who Would You Do" assumes you have the option of doing either Batman or Sawyer from Lost).

For example: (actual conversation)

Tye says: Chauffer or personal trainer?
Ang: Personal trainer.
Tye: Personal trainer or private chef?
Ang: Hmmm, does the chef do the grocery shopping and kitchen clean-up too?
Tye: No, just the cooking.
Ang: Chef anyway.
Tye: Chef or personal assistant?
Ang: Personal Assistant.
Tye: Personal assistant or maid?
Ang: Personal assistant.
Tye: Personal assistant or Lexus?
Ang: Well, what would I be driving if I choose personal assistant?
Tye: Like, a Toyota.
Ang: Personal Assistant.

It just kind of goes on and on like that. Eventually we find ourselves talking like we're actually actually getting the thing--like deciding how many days a week the maid should come in and stuff. It's funny. Then we check back in with reality. But it's fun to think about.

So my ultimate luxury is personal assistant. What is yours?

New Year's Resolutionary War

2009-01-06T12:22:00.004-07:00

{just wanted to post a cute picture of my kids}

I haven't posted for a while so I thought I would write up somethin' somethin'. I've been working on my goals for the new year. This year I chose to do 3 big goals. They are going to take a lot of work and planning. I also have less difficult, obvious goals really, that I will work on throughout the year. You know, the churchy stuff. Anyway, I'll share with you two of the three goals I've set for myself.

1- Run 1000 miles
2- Send every member of my family a birthday card.

The first goal I stole from Travis. He did this goal last year and wasted it. I think he ended up with 1400 miles. Insane. I like the fact that it's a number and not "I will run 6 x a week". Most likely a goal like that would only last the first couple of months.
The second goal is big for me because my family is so LARGE I usually don't do much for any birthday. Sometimes they get a text:) I'll be sending out 70 cards this year. Adding money to my nieces and nephews.
I'm curious about the goals you guys are doing this year. Care to share? Pork for you this year, Ang?

Three Cups of Tea

2009-01-04T09:08:00.003-07:00

This book is about a man named Greg Mortenson and his true story about building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. He got lost on a failed attempt to summit K2. His porter found him and got him down safely. But Greg got lost one more time and ended up in this small town of Korphe where the people let him in and nursed him back to health. He promised them he would come back and build them a school. He lived out of his car and until he had saved enough money to go back and build a school. The story just gets better and better. It starts out I think in 1993 (before 9/11) and continues on until 2003. Amazing story!

because we are all now SOOO experienced...

2008-12-10T08:25:00.006-07:00

So I took the "virgins" out of our blog name not because we are all total whore bloggers who will blog anywhere with anyone (in fact, based on how little action this blog has gotten in the last 6 months we should change the name to Frigid Prudish Bloggers) but because I got to see Wendy over the Thanksgiving holiday and when she mentioned the blog she said "first of all, I hate the name." So in a welcoming gesture of love to all of humanity, and in an effort to get Wendy to show us some love, I give you....P & H Bloggers. Wendy, this is for you. The P&H doesn't even have to stand for Pure and Holy if you don't want it to. It could be for PacMan & Hopscotch or Pizza & Hookah or Pomeranians & Hairballs. Whatever you want. Just love us. Pleeeeeeeeaaaasssseee love us.
the end.

Just a few differences I've noticed living here

2008-11-14T23:41:00.002-07:00

I'm gonna bust in and break up the Thanks for a minute because I just have to tell this. Three things happened today that I found so abnormal. Is it the country thing? Maybe a little bit of imbreeding? I don't know.

First, I'm at Ace Hardware buying some yeast. This girl ringing me up starts telling me about a girl that is getting it on with her boyfriend. Then she proceeds to tell me how she's gonna kick her ass after work. Yeah, she said, "I'm gonna kick that bitch's ass after work." I was thinking WHOA!!! I don't know you.....maybe this isn't appropriate work talk.....you know, common sense. That was totally weird.

Second. I drive through McDonald's [Word up Heat!!] & when I go to pay a dollar falls to the ground. I didn't even have time to say anything about it. The guy just jumps out of the window & squeezes in between the wall & my truck which was really tight. He tells me he got it & that I could go. I was seriously so close to the wall I didn't want to drive off but he insisted. I freaking hit him with my truck! He totally just shook it off & jumped back into the window. That was also very odd to me.

Third. This is why I posted here & not my blog. I was buying a pregnancy test at the dollar store & not because I think I'm pregnant but I'm obsessed with taking pregnancy tests. I love it & they are only a buck so why not. Anyhow, the girl rings up all my stuff & the test last. She says really loud, "UH-OH!" I just look at her & look away but then she continues. "Are you even married?" I tell her yes. "Do you have other kids?" I tell her 3. She starts laughing & is acting like this is some awful thing & probably a mistake. There was 3 people behind me so I felt really stupid. "GOOD LUCK" she yells at me as I'm walking out of the store. Who does that?!

Advice I'm Thankful For...

2008-11-14T15:06:00.004-07:00

So I've been thinking and thinking and can not come up with a single funny memory. I will keep thinking and post some when I think of them, but I thought I'd throw out another topic: Advice/Council you've received that you're thankful for.

Here are my top 3

1. "The great deals will always outlast the money." By nature I'm a saver, but I get sucked into spending sometimes just because things are on sale. I often think of this advice when I'm tempted to buy something that I don't really need just because it's a great deal.

2. This one comes from Dr. Laura/my sister-in-law Michelle. The gist of it is "You only need to do 3 things to make your husband completely adore you: 1-Feed him. 2-Have sex with him. 3-Thank/praise him." That's it. He'll be putty in your hands.

3. "Lengthen Your Stride" Once I thought my life was so crazy and stressful and full of challenges so I asked Tye for a blessing. The main message of that blessing was "Lengthen your Stride, try harder, serve more." I realized it wasn't really that I had so many challenges but that I'd become accustomed to my cake-walk life and I was just being a wimp. Sounds harsh but it was totally true.

Funny Memories

2008-11-12T10:27:00.003-07:00

per Danika's request. Tell us what funny memories you are thankful for.

Katie:
I don't know why i'm thankful for these memories other than the fact that i smile when remembering. my mission was filled with giggles. uncontrolable, disrespectful, irreverent giggles. things are funnier as a missionary but i'll tell this story anyway.
in one area we had to cross a highway multiple times a day. 2 lanes one way, a grass median, 2 lanes the other way. i was always trying to take the monotony out of mission life and one day i suggested to my companion, "how about we make a rule that every time we cross the road we have to run as fast as we can, as if we are running for our lives." the next day, as we stepped onto the road i yelled, "RUN!!!" and took off. my companion followed me with eyes wide with fear. when we got to the median she tripped on the curb and slid across the grass on her belly, spread eagle. she was short and plump (gained 40 lbs. on the mish.) so that makes a better visual. her bag went flying and the contents spilled. she popped up as fast as she had gone down, picked up her stuff and crossed the road without saying a word. she was an insecure person--which didn't make her humble but very selfconcious. this had hurt her pride and she was acting as if it didn't happen. as if she hadn't executed a perfect slide into home plate. i felt bad and i knew she didn't need me laughing at her but i could not help it. i held back as long as i could but once the smallest snicker left my mouth it was full-on doubled over laughter.
i was thinking about this last night in bed and trying not to laugh so i wouldn't wake up dan. i was afraid my shaking would wake him.

second one was playing strip uno at andy's with angie, sarah, ben, todd and andy. (was there anyone else?). the three people who lost had to streak down the street. somehow the girls won in a landslide. so the three boys, with one accessory each, had to run to the end of andy's street and back while we followed behind in the car. when they got to the corner we said they could get in and we would drive them back. fools! we just drove them around for awhile. and when we got back we dropped them off at the corner and made them run back. here is the part that makes me laugh to think about: todd was running, nude except for his belt (one accessory), slips on some ice and goes down hard. he had rasberries on his upper thigh and butt. i have pictures somewhere.

if i think of a good third one, i'l add it.

this is long so i think everyone should create their own post.

Month of Thanksgiving

2008-11-07T20:22:00.003-07:00

in an effort to revive this blog i'm going to start a little thankful game for the month of november. one person picks a category and everyone lists the top things for which they are thankful in that category. like this:

Top Three EXPERIENCES I Am Thankful For

Katie:
1. mission life
2. going away to college
3. premarital sex. j/k. didn't experience that. swimming with dolphins. j/k. that was lame. this is harder than i thought. i wanted to list something specific but will go with something general instead: being a mother.

first one to add theirs gets to choose the next list. see how that works? please play along or you will be taken off the contributors list!

Walk Without Ryhthm and You Won't Attract The Worm

2008-11-05T15:10:00.002-07:00

Of course I'm posting THIS video in response to Katie's challenge. Christopher Walken totally stole my signature move- "leap onto a table, kick everything off, tap-dance with tongue out, keep hands in pockets and pelvic thrust your way through hallways." But I never thought of the "float around a lobby" move, which is pretty awesome. And I don't have a creepy, stoic stare.
Advantage: Walken.

Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal

2008-10-23T10:31:00.001-06:00

About a month or so ago my training was getting neglected and waking up to run after spending sleepless nights with a newborn was daunting. I had one last Saturday to get in a really long run before the marathon. I woke up hating that morning until I walked into the front room and a lovely new ipod shuffle was sitting on the counter. Wellz had surprised me with a new running companion filled with 3 hrs of songs. This is one of my favorites. The music is so heavenly.

Too much time on her hands

2008-10-22T10:54:00.003-06:00

i couldn't get the video to load. i'm sure you've all seen it. i heard the song last night and was reminded of this daft hands video. (skip forward 50 seconds.)

this blog has been neglected. i challenge you all to come out of your funk by posting a youtube video.

Boy, Boy, and... boy

2008-09-10T12:16:00.003-06:00

So these guys are about to have a little bro... it's official baby boy 3 is on his way. I'm way excited but since I'm out of boy names-- I've already used two favorite boy names and Michael has trumped all of my other favorite names not to mention about 30 nephews in the family with don't-use-this-name parents-- I'm opening it up to all of you. Given the awesome names of kido's in this blog group I'm hoping for a winner. So, send along any names (or advice for raising 3 kids 3 years old and younger) on my way. A big prize for the chosen name contributor.

And just think, in vitro to this. Who knew?

No privacy

2008-08-21T07:53:00.002-06:00

I've been here in LaPoint at Kb's mom's house now for over 2 months & I'm having issues. We are only staying here to save money for a house & it's nice of them to let us invade but I seriously cannot get away from his mom.

She never leaves besides going to the temple every Friday for a few hours. If I want to be alone, I go in our room & what do you know......2 seconds later she is coming in. Sometimes she doesn't even knock. She has come in while I'm changing. It's like, if I leave her sight she has to come see what I'm doing.

Not only that, she tries to be mom to my kids. She tries to do everything that I CAN DO. She wants to iron the kids clothes for church, feed them, put them to bed, etc. I can't stand it. Sometimes I laugh & say, "I'm their mother & I can do it." Or, "I did it in my own home so why should it be different here?"

But, I say it totally joking because I can't hurt peoples feelings. What am I supposed to say to her to leave me alone! I don't want to be mean but I'm suffocating....seriously. This is hell.

2008-08-16T07:05:00.001-06:00

Red Box

MCD808 Expires 9-30-2008

Almost there!

2008-08-12T17:23:00.000-06:00

Super Greg

2008-07-25T12:02:00.003-06:00

picture taken from the vantage point of me nursing Magnus

The Greg we all know and love was in town for his sister's wedding. We had a little impromptu party which involved tennis, swimming, and eating hoagies. If you haven't had the chance to look at Greg's face book page, you really should, his art is freakin' amazing. Greg showed up to the party wearing a Dixie High wrestling shirt. Bend 'em, bust 'em, that's our custom.
GO, FIGHT, WIN!

Survey

2008-07-10T19:37:00.001-06:00

Hey, go to my blog and answer my survey. Please.

Round-the-world Dance

2008-07-03T17:08:00.003-06:00

This Matt guy is one lucky brass turd. I can't believe he's still traveling.

2008-06-14T16:53:00.002-06:00

Hey Erica - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

A Revolutionary New Idea

2008-06-06T09:28:00.003-06:00

click on picture to enlarge. prepare to have your mind blown.

Happy belated birthday Heat

2008-06-03T12:30:00.002-06:00

Heather....I would've called you on the day but all my numbers are gone. In fact, will you email me your number? ericanjensen@yahoo.com

I hope you had a great day!!!

Code for the Ladies

2008-05-20T18:17:00.001-06:00

Here's the new Red Box code:

BIGMAC508 expires June 30th

Peruse: It's not what you think

2008-05-19T17:32:00.003-06:00

So today at work I had to attend an all day training with some of the big-wigs from our region. I was so bugged the whole day. For some reason today I was hyper-aware of everyone misusing words or just making up words whenever it suited them. It was driving me crazy.

The biggest big-wig kept saying he was going to "assimilate" information to all the managers when what he meant was "disseminate". He also kept throwing "whom" around probably thinking it made him sound smarter, but it had the opposite effect since he didn't know how to use it. Some other girl kept saying she was "fustrated" instead of "frustrated" and I'm pretty sure at one point she said "for all intensive purposes." what?

I have a whole list of words that I notice people constantly use incorrectly. Sorry to be a grammar-Nazi, but here are some frequent offenders:

Peruse-to examine carefully, study thoroughly, scrutinize, inspect (thank you thesaurus). People always use this to mean they're going to quickly read or lightly skim over something. This word is used incorrectly so often that some dictionaries have added a 2nd definition that is pretty much the opposite of the real definition. I guess it's easier just to change a dictionary than to re-educate the entire population.

Irregardless is not a word. Regardless is a word.

'There's' instead of 'there are'- such as 'there's drinks in the fridge.' I realized how guilty I am of that one when I learned to speak a foreign language.

Off of-There is no need to ever follow the word "Off" with "of." Also "could of" should be "could have."

Pacific/specific-one of these is an ocean. Try to guess which one.

My English is far from perfect (as Craig so delicately pointed out) but those are a few of my peeves. What are yours? Are there words that drive you crazy when you hear people use them?

Gotta get me some of these PJ's!!!

2008-05-06T14:15:00.004-06:00

Ok dudes, I know you've been looking for some jeans to show off your goodies! You can thank me later!! Here's the link.

"Introducing the newest thing in fashion since the leaf. Pictures show Adam and Eve both wearing a leaf, now someone can cover everything else and reveal the leaf. Pubic Jeans (PJ's), are jeans that have a patch that can be removed to reveal about 3 inches of the pubic area. When removed, the opening only shows about 3/4 of an inch worth of the pubic hair line and the rest is the skin above it. The idea behind the removable patch it so show a little more skin then low rise jeans allow."

Just thought this was halarious.

2008-05-04T22:43:00.000-06:00

Jan Terri -- Losing You

2008-04-28T18:37:00.002-06:00

so remember those shirts i posted about? i loved them so much, i returned to buy more in larger sizes. anyway, from their store site i linked over to their blog. pretty funny. they had this video and i was very impressed with jan's talent. i laughed more when i scrolled down to the comments and the first one said, "i hit myself in the balls when i saw this!!!"

Man, I REALLY got gypped in the talent department!

2008-04-24T09:51:00.003-06:00

I saw this today and thought it was so unbelievable and amazing, I had to share it.

"You’ve heard the phrase an elephant never forgets? Well, here’s another example of the intelligence of these gentle giants. The elephant in this video, who was rescued from abusive treatment in Burma, actually paints a beautiful self-portrait!

Elephants are one of the most intelligent animals in the world. They have highly developed brains, with traits similar to humans, apes and dolphins.

In fact, even though this elephant may have been trained to paint pictures, elephants are known to display traits of self-awareness. For instance, if an elephant sees its image in a mirror, it may try to rub a smudge of dirt off its face. Elephants are also known to grieve, use tools, show a sense of humor, and also share in joyful events, such as gathering to greet a newborn."

So touched by their horrific backgrounds and loving personalities, ExoticWorldGifts.com now supports, "Starving Elephant Artisans" by selling their paintings so they can continue to have a new life in Thailand.
http://www.exoticworldgifts.com/

2 Parents, 2 Kids, 1 Dog and an RV

2008-04-16T16:48:00.005-06:00

I just read this article about a family with two kids who bought an RV and are traveling the country for 16 months. The mom had a scare about how long she would live and decided to plan something big. All she could think about was spending more time with her family. They are doing a homeschooling program on the way for their kids who are 8 and 6. Here's their blog.
After our adventure to France we are completely incapable of funding something this rad but wouldn't it be sweet. I would totally be into homeschooling if going to cool places day after day were in the agenda.

Side note: I have 6 weeks left. My due date is June 1st. Dressing my belly is getting tricky and I've hit the hot flash phase.

For Angie....

2008-04-15T22:55:00.001-06:00

Well since I am not a VIP to your blog....I'll have to tell you here. Your dad sung at church a few weeks back & he has such an amazing voice. Anavey was totally captivated. Do you sing too?

New Do

2008-04-12T22:24:00.004-06:00

Why is it so hard for a stylist to believe you when you say, "not much shorter." i guess it is relative. i finally braved the bangs. i've been toying with them for years but never cut enough. i think i kinda like them for now. here are some pictures. i should totally go on america's next top model. i know how to work my angles. i was actually just trying to get a picture of the a-line. i had to edit the photos to make my blotchy-freckly-red-nosed face look a little better.

mormons, mormons everywhere

2008-04-09T15:09:00.002-06:00

Has anyone else been noticing an awful lot of Mormons on TV lately?
Just last night I counted FIVE: Barr on HGTV, two American Idols (allegedly) , Glenn Beck and some chick on What Not To Wear named Kathryn Knudsen. Does anyone know her because I SWEAR I think I met her at USU. Was someone's girlfriend or cousin or something? I can't remember, but I know I've met her. Of course, there's also Mitt Romney and apparently one of the dancers on Dancing with the Stars. Probably a bunch of other closeted members too.
kind of off the subject but I watched the Pop Fiction where Avril pretends she is prego and her personality totally reminded me of Katie. (the Katie-ishness most apparent from 6 min to 6:30) Am I right or am I right? Or has it just been a really long time since we've hung out?

Park Pictures

2008-04-08T10:21:00.004-06:00

when i was in st. g. a couple weekends ago, lacey and i met at the park. the stars all aligned and heather and asa even showed up before we left! this is the first time i have seen her since her baby shower for asa. and that's not due to lack of trying. don't feel bad erica, i think heather is one of those who take on their husband's friends and only visits hers in the blogging world.

i know you all can just hop on over to my family blog if you want to see pictures of fred. i'm posting these so you can see adan's cute round face.

Food Court Musical

2008-04-06T21:14:00.001-06:00

no doubt if angie was there she'd be right in there doing jazz [trays], singing and dancing along even though she wasn't part of the group.

2008-04-05T08:36:00.004-06:00

Surprise vacation for me!!!

2008-04-04T12:51:00.003-06:00

Kb surprised me with a trip to Cabo San Lucas. We're trying to work it out. He knew I had to get out of this town (my personal hell) so we are going on an all-inclusive vacation for a week!!

We went to get our passports last week & I'm so excited. We're leaving May 12 & come home May 19. Ahhhh...one week kid free....I can't wait!! Everything is paid for....food, tips, all activites, etc.!!!

I'm also kinda nervous. One, because I'm not in shape. Two, because I haven't been on an airplane since middle school. And three, because I fear getting mugged or something. I am going to be working out hard to be able to wear my bikini I got. We'll see.

ASHLYNN: Dont' tell mom & dad yet. I have to ask them to watch the kids!!

Preach It, Baby!

2008-04-04T11:17:00.003-06:00

I seriously love General Conference so much, I get super excited for it. So here's wishing you all a
Happy Conference Weekend!

Super Awesome April Fools Joke???

2008-04-03T14:57:00.002-06:00

What. The. Hell.

funnny memory: Remember when Greg Mortenson gave a talk in Sacrament Meeting and listed his temptations by saying "Get Thee Hence Snoop Doggy Dawg" and "Get Thee Hence Hot Chick in a Tank Top" or something like that. Ohhhh Greg. You slay me.

Introducing Craig Tovey-Photographer Extraordinaire

2008-04-03T11:19:00.005-06:00

Need some pictures taken? My friend Craig Tovey is a great photographer and sexy and funny to boot. Here's proof. And he's a boxer so he might be able to beat up your enemies in the Provo, Utah area. Call him and he will make all your wildest dreams come true.

Oh. speaking of photography, here are the Best Nature Photo award winners. Don't know if that's a real contest or not, but the pictures are pretty cool.

Rosetta Stone

2008-04-01T11:14:00.002-06:00

Here is our plan. It includes a cousin who likes to learn new languages, a bro in law going to Brazil on his mission, and us who want to learn Portuguese. Matt said that when he went to this teachers of foreign language shenanigan everyone was raving about Rosetta Stone. The military uses it to teach their peeps the language of the country they get sent to. Supposedly it is a really excellent and fast way to learn a language. But kinda expensive for us ($200 for one level). So we are going to split the cost three ways. Adam gets to have it until he leaves for Brazil, then we get it, then cousin Russ. Portuguese is my favorite language and I have always wanted to learn it. If it is a good program then Russ and us will split the cost for levels two and three as well. I can't wait to start! A lot of people ask Matt and I to teach them Spanish but I think this is probably a better idea. Wouldn't it be cool to learn a new language every couple years?! Every time a relative gets called on a foreign mission, everyone could start learning that particular language together. If anyone is interested... popular languages are always available used on ebay for a lot less. There haven't been any Portuguese ones lately.

Do you think she remembers?

2008-03-27T09:10:00.003-06:00

I'm being serious.....it's funny but every time I get changed in front of Anavey & she sees my boobs she points to them & says, "uh, uh, uh, uh!" Every time without fail. Do you think she remembers breastfeeding?

If not, then what is she saying I wonder. Hope she's not making fun of me.

Update on my rampage alert

2008-03-25T12:42:00.002-06:00

So I called & called & left messages for the teacher to call me back. She never did. I didn't want to confront her because I hate confrontation so I cower over the phone.

Finally yesterday I called & said that I needed to speak to her now so get her on the phone....please.

I told you she was a beast. I explained the problem & this is what she said.
"Yep, that's right. Kids are only allowed to go to the bathroom at recess." Did she hear a word I said???

So, calling her did no good. She still won't let Ethan go to the bathroom if he asks. What is her freaking problem?

Outta My Way, I Gotsta Get Me a Coupon!

2008-03-24T11:19:00.006-06:00

This weekend Tye and I went on an "Adults Only Easter Egg Hunt." It was super fun. It was 10 bucks to enter, and they had some pretty good prizes like an all-inclusive vacation to Cancun, restaurant certificates, etc. It was held in a HUGE park that covers over 2 square miles and they dropped 10,000 eggs and handed out maps. There was also a live band and barbeque from a local restaurant.

Anyway, the hunt was hysterical! Imagine 3,000 adults dressed in bunny ears and carrying Easter baskets, crushed against the starting line and counting down, " 3….2….1….GO!" and then they all start running like mad!
Then, seriously like 30 yards later before they had even gotten to where the eggs were, everyone is doubled over, hands on knees, gasping for breath, almost to collapse. That's the advantage of racing against fat midwesterners. You can beat them if you can run more than 100 ft. It was absolutely hilarious!! Tye and I were dying laughing. I wanted to stop and film all these crazed grown-ups running wildly, pushing & shoving to be the first to collect some plastic egss, but we had a PLAN of ATTACK so there was no time for dilly dally (Mostly our plan of attack just consisted of wearing headlamps and Tye shouting “Reconnoiter 15!!” at random intervals).

Little did we know our plan was child’s play compared with other people. This guy next to us had a 3-stage strike planned, with accomplices planted all over the park. They had walkie talkies and were saying into them (totally deadpan) “meet at juncture 4 at 21 hundred hours”. Everyone was taking it so seriously. Including us. Later we found out some of the "prizes" were just samples of Pantene or Tide like you sometimes get in the mail, or coupons for an oil change. All we won was a free car wash (dangit) but where ever Tye and I end up living, I am FO SHO going to organize an event like this but with better prizes. Be there!

note to Mindi: My blog is not so much super-secret, but I NEVER post anything on it so it seems boring. But having it private makes me seem MYSTERIOUS and ALLURING rather than boring, so I go that route. Someday soon I'll unlock it and start posting about compelling and fascinating topics but till then you are welcome to comment here. The Spendlove Fam also has a blog that is usually pretty boring too, but you can check it out if you want.

Barr the Builder

2008-03-24T10:34:00.003-06:00

For those of you that know Barr, you may not have heard that he is going to be a TV STAR!! He has a gig on HGTV on the show "Designed to Sell" as their carpenter. His first episode airs April 8th (check your local listing for time).

Also, he is getting married on May 10 in Utah to a girl named Marcy. He came to St. Louis to hang out with Tye in Feb and I've never seen him so happy. He is on Facebook if you want to send him a note.

Red Box

2008-03-19T09:57:00.000-06:00

MCSKLLT308

Expires 4 30 2008

Kiss Me, I'm Oirish

2008-03-17T09:01:00.002-06:00

Happy St. Patty's Day everyone. Hope you get LUCKY today.

Rampage alert

2008-03-15T11:41:00.002-06:00

So this is my rampage......maybe.

The kids have been out all week for spring break but earlier this week when I was doing wash, I noticed that a couple pair of Ethan's jeans were wet. I smelled them & yup....it's pee. I asked him why he would pee his pants since he's almost 10. (He has always had a problem with this but I thought he had overcome it)

He told me that his teacher wouldn't let him go to the bathroom at school. His teacher is a beast. She's really old & mean but she's always been kind to me & Ethan so I let it slide. I have a serious problem with this because I had the same problem when I was little. We must have really small bladders or something because I peed my pants a lot!

It especially hits home because once when i was in 3rd grade (just as Ethan is) I asked to go to the bathroom at lunch time. The teacher said no & I ended up peeing my pants & sitting in my pee pants the rest of the day. All the kids were making fun of me & telling me that I stunk. I lied & said that I spilled milk on myself at lunch.

Question: How should I handle this. I'm so mad that I feel like I would come across really rude & then it would ruin our relationship. What should I say to her? It's not like this has happened once. Ethan said he has peed his pants a few times because she would not let him go.

Science project

2008-03-04T20:53:00.002-07:00

Ethan's science project was to see if hot sauce would clean pennies. I was looking online to find some good pictures of Taco Bell & pennies & came across this picture. I thought it would be funny to put the Taco Bell dog on.

Good thing I looked up this phrase on google translator. It means, "I want bitches". That probably wouldn't have been to funny to a lot of the spanish speaking parents & students.

I really need to learn spanish.

happy leap year day

2008-02-29T09:56:00.001-07:00

http://video.dotcomedy.com/player/?id=184580

i don't know what this video has to do with anything, I just like Beth and Val.

attention

2008-02-28T09:20:00.004-07:00

moms and future moms or gift-givers. i just stocked up on t-shirts for fred at fooey. short sleeved shirts are $5. free shipping if you spend $60. take a look.

Corporate America

2008-02-28T08:53:00.004-07:00

Mmmm yaaaaa, I'm gonna have to go ahead and tell you about my job, kay? Due to a long series of events that I won't bore you with, I am temporarily working in a cubicle at our corporate office. My days are like all the worst/most annoying scenes from Office Space and The Office.

Common occurrences:

~discussions round the watercooler about American Idol. (I'm convinced that not a single person under the age of 50 votes for "their" favorite idol.)

~little posters/mugs that say "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps!" with a picture of a wet kitten or cross-eyed monkey. or some variation on that.

~dude with a mullet that walks around all day Every day with a cup of coffee from McDonalds and 'just stops in' at your cubicle to make inane small talk: "Cold enough for ya?", "Is it Friday yet? heh heh", "Are you working hard or hardly working?" or "Smile, it's not that bad."

~old guy with smokers cough always talking crap about his wife and laughing really loud in a wheezing, someb0dy-call-the-paramedics type of laugh.

~people stop by your cubicle and start off by saying "Knock Knock"--this one is contagious as I have found myself saying it a couple times. UGH.

my home away from home--sorry, no plants, family pictures or stuffed animals here.

Seriously though, NO ONE can rock "Cubicle Chic" like I can, complete with jazzy elevator muzak and flickering fluorescent lights. AND I have an EXTENSION: 54365 should you have any Administrative Emergencies. and I have about a dozen pairs of "slacks" in varying shades of grey and brown.

The fact that there is volume control for Muzak is totally mystifying to me. Why would you choose any volume other than "Off"? Even more confusing is the fact that the knob can not be turned without a wrench or some sort of tool (believe me, I've tried). It's torture, too cruel even for Gitmo.

For The Record: I have never--nor will I ever--utter the words "cool beans

tear up this town

2008-02-26T21:52:00.002-07:00

i didn't forget. i promised another picture for my week-in-photos gig. can't live in lehi and not be proud of the roller mill.

everybody cut footloose.

do over?

2008-02-26T17:09:00.001-07:00

Anyone want to try Book Club again? Someone suggest a book for March.

Tree man

2008-02-24T16:43:00.001-07:00

So sad.

Monday morning video

2008-02-18T08:54:00.001-07:00

monday mornings pretty much suck so i'm going to kick off the week again with a video.
some Brak favorites:

i'm so excited!...

2008-02-17T17:01:00.004-07:00

i'm so scared!
i saw this shirt on a blog.

from this episode:

happy v-day

2008-02-14T16:17:00.000-07:00

Happy Valentines Day!!

2008-02-14T08:20:00.003-07:00

Sadly, I don't think I'll be getting one of these this year. I guess I'll have to settle for some sugar cookies!

Muffins Make Monday Morning Merrier

2008-02-11T08:34:00.001-07:00

I know this is old, but it still makes me laugh every time. Have a good Monday!

go fug yourself

2008-02-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

not a nice name, i know. i guess this is what is called a "guilty pleasure." it is a blog devoted to making fun of what celebrities are wearing. why do i care about what celebrities are wearing? i don't. that much. especially since most of the pictures are from the red carpet. i will never need a red carpet outfit. but what i really like about this site is the writing. it is very witty and clever. sometimes the posts are a little lengthy and i don't read them but sometimes they really make me laugh. like the "well played amanda bynes" post. (sometimes they are nice)

Oh, Amanda Bynes. You're so nice and person-colored now.

And that gown is totally gorgeous -- love that peacock color, love the bodice, love the flirty layers at the bottom, love the way it fits her. The hair might be a little twee, but you know what? I don't care today. That's right. Dare I say it, I'm in a GOOD MOOD, and looking at this dress only enhances it -- like frosting on an already really yummy piece of carrot cake. I am pretty sure that those boys in the background are trying really hard not to stare at her, but inside, are totally stoked that Hot Amanda Bynes is standing mere feet from them and are planning to tell all their friends tomorrow that they held her hand and that she promised they'd get married in 15 years. Or, you know, whatever it is that boys do. Having no brothers, I can't say for sure. Doodling your names jointly inside a big heart all over a spiral notebook and then frantically doing MASH, trying to cheat so that you end up married, living in a mansion, driving a Ferrari, working as a movie star, having three kids, and owning stacks of emeralds, seems like it's more of a girly response.

anyway, check it out for a laugh.

Tribute

2008-01-29T09:28:00.000-07:00

I liked this.

The show

2008-01-27T00:09:00.000-07:00

I just thought I'd share my thoughts on the show.

Heat didn't go:( I was sad.
Ash didn't go either:( I was sad.
Saw lots of hippies:( I was suprised.
Got hit on by a Euro dude:( I was annoyed.
Ethan got to see guitars live:) I was happy!
Saw lots of old friends:) I was happy!
Thought I gave Nate a compliment but he took it as a slam:( I was annoyed again.
Played foosball with Ethan:) Yeah! I won.
Ate a chocolate muffin & drank a gatorade:) I had to pee.
Their band is good:)

I had fun. I was just bummed that Heather & Ash weren't there.
I was totally going to take a picture & I forgot with Ethan asking me for food every 2 seconds. I had my camera & everything. Sorry!!!

Flight of the Conchords- Business Time

2008-01-25T17:11:00.001-07:00

Funny.

Pure and Holy Bloggers

Some useful passive aggresive condescending phrases

Hey girls! I came across this and thought you'd enjoy.

Some useful passive aggresive condescending phrases

Cheap Like Me

the dude abides

Haiti

post that should have gone up 3 weeks ago...

this drummer is at the wrong gig

Hello my friends!

#2

Happy Valentines Day, Wusses!

About a Bump

The Fiery Furnaces - Tropical Iceland

People of Walmart

QUICK! Help!

Dead Man's Bones : My Body's a Zombie For You

spark recipes

Speaking More of Music...

Speaking of Weddings

CTR 7

Rosetta Stone

Seriously So Blessed

Joy and Pain

HEATHER

I went skimming yesterday!!!!

more

for danika

check out those knockers!

Off Base

what's for dinner?

Crazy Face

Quick update on me!!

Observation Point 2.0

Sweet Baby James

3 quick questions

A Self-less Gift?

Spiderman vs. Octomom--Who Will Win??

What is your ultimate luxury?

New Year's Resolutionary War

Three Cups of Tea

because we are all now SOOO experienced...

Just a few differences I've noticed living here

Advice I'm Thankful For...

Funny Memories

Month of Thanksgiving

Walk Without Ryhthm and You Won't Attract The Worm

Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal

Too much time on her hands

Boy, Boy, and... boy

No privacy

Almost there!

Super Greg

Survey

Round-the-world Dance

A Revolutionary New Idea

Happy belated birthday Heat

Code for the Ladies

Peruse: It's not what you think

Gotta get me some of these PJ's!!!

Just thought this was halarious.

Jan Terri -- Losing You

Man, I REALLY got gypped in the talent department!

2 Parents, 2 Kids, 1 Dog and an RV

For Angie....

New Do

mormons, mormons everywhere

Park Pictures

Food Court Musical

Surprise vacation for me!!!

Preach It, Baby!

Super Awesome April Fools Joke???

Introducing Craig Tovey-Photographer Extraordinaire

Rosetta Stone

Do you think she remembers?

Update on my rampage alert

Outta My Way, I Gotsta Get Me a Coupon!

Barr the Builder

Red Box

Kiss Me, I'm Oirish

Rampage alert