Mmmm yaaaaa, I'm gonna have to go ahead and tell you about my job, kay? Due to a long series of events that I won't bore you with, I am temporarily working in a cubicle at our corporate office. My days are like all the worst/most annoying scenes from Office Space and The Office.
Common occurrences:
~discussions round the watercooler about American Idol. (I'm convinced that not a single person under the age of 50 votes for "their" favorite idol.)
~little posters/mugs that say "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps!" with a picture of a wet kitten or cross-eyed monkey. or some variation on that.
~dude with a mullet that walks around all day Every day with a cup of coffee from McDonalds and 'just stops in' at your cubicle to make inane small talk: "Cold enough for ya?", "Is it Friday yet? heh heh", "Are you working hard or hardly working?" or "Smile, it's not that bad."
~old guy with smokers cough always talking crap about his wife and laughing really loud in a wheezing, someb0dy-call-the-paramedics type of laugh.
~people stop by your cubicle and start off by saying "Knock Knock"--this one is contagious as I have found myself saying it a couple times. UGH.
my home away from home--sorry, no plants, family pictures or stuffed animals here.Seriously though, NO ONE can rock "Cubicle Chic" like I can, complete with jazzy elevator muzak and flickering fluorescent lights. AND I have an EXTENSION: 54365 should you have any Administrative Emergencies. and I have about a dozen pairs of "slacks" in varying shades of grey and brown.
The fact that there is volume control for Muzak is totally mystifying to me. Why would you choose any volume other than "Off"? Even more confusing is the fact that the knob can not be turned without a wrench or some sort of tool (believe me, I've tried). It's torture, too cruel even for Gitmo.
For The Record: I have never--nor will I ever--utter the words "cool beans
4 comments:
"Knock knock" being said is one that I'll never understand.
I need a job.
i am way too lazy to have a job. that's why i'm a mom. i don't have to answer to anyone (sometimes dan). and can wear/listen to what i want. the hours are pretty bad though. but i'd much rather change a diaper than answer a phone.
me too, thank goodness I never have to answer the phone. or deal with the public.
I forgot to mention the constant odor of microwave dinners and burnt popcorn (which smell always reminds me of the MTC).
So what do you do Ang I don't believe I've heard?
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