because we are all now SOOO experienced...

So I took the "virgins" out of our blog name not because we are all total whore bloggers who will blog anywhere with anyone (in fact, based on how little action this blog has gotten in the last 6 months we should change the name to Frigid Prudish Bloggers) but because I got to see Wendy over the Thanksgiving holiday and when she mentioned the blog she said "first of all, I hate the name." So in a welcoming gesture of love to all of humanity, and in an effort to get Wendy to show us some love, I give you....P & H Bloggers. Wendy, this is for you. The P&H doesn't even have to stand for Pure and Holy if you don't want it to. It could be for PacMan & Hopscotch or Pizza & Hookah or Pomeranians & Hairballs. Whatever you want. Just love us. Pleeeeeeeeaaaasssseee love us.
the end.

Just a few differences I've noticed living here

I'm gonna bust in and break up the Thanks for a minute because I just have to tell this. Three things happened today that I found so abnormal. Is it the country thing? Maybe a little bit of imbreeding? I don't know.

First, I'm at Ace Hardware buying some yeast. This girl ringing me up starts telling me about a girl that is getting it on with her boyfriend. Then she proceeds to tell me how she's gonna kick her ass after work. Yeah, she said, "I'm gonna kick that bitch's ass after work." I was thinking WHOA!!! I don't know you.....maybe this isn't appropriate work talk.....you know, common sense. That was totally weird.

Second. I drive through McDonald's [Word up Heat!!] & when I go to pay a dollar falls to the ground. I didn't even have time to say anything about it. The guy just jumps out of the window & squeezes in between the wall & my truck which was really tight. He tells me he got it & that I could go. I was seriously so close to the wall I didn't want to drive off but he insisted. I freaking hit him with my truck! He totally just shook it off & jumped back into the window. That was also very odd to me.

Third. This is why I posted here & not my blog. I was buying a pregnancy test at the dollar store & not because I think I'm pregnant but I'm obsessed with taking pregnancy tests. I love it & they are only a buck so why not. Anyhow, the girl rings up all my stuff & the test last. She says really loud, "UH-OH!" I just look at her & look away but then she continues. "Are you even married?" I tell her yes. "Do you have other kids?" I tell her 3. She starts laughing & is acting like this is some awful thing & probably a mistake. There was 3 people behind me so I felt really stupid. "GOOD LUCK" she yells at me as I'm walking out of the store. Who does that?!

Advice I'm Thankful For...

So I've been thinking and thinking and can not come up with a single funny memory. I will keep thinking and post some when I think of them, but I thought I'd throw out another topic: Advice/Council you've received that you're thankful for.

Here are my top 3

1. "The great deals will always outlast the money." By nature I'm a saver, but I get sucked into spending sometimes just because things are on sale. I often think of this advice when I'm tempted to buy something that I don't really need just because it's a great deal.

2. This one comes from Dr. Laura/my sister-in-law Michelle. The gist of it is "You only need to do 3 things to make your husband completely adore you: 1-Feed him. 2-Have sex with him. 3-Thank/praise him." That's it. He'll be putty in your hands.

3. "Lengthen Your Stride" Once I thought my life was so crazy and stressful and full of challenges so I asked Tye for a blessing. The main message of that blessing was "Lengthen your Stride, try harder, serve more." I realized it wasn't really that I had so many challenges but that I'd become accustomed to my cake-walk life and I was just being a wimp. Sounds harsh but it was totally true.

Funny Memories

per Danika's request. Tell us what funny memories you are thankful for.

Katie:
I don't know why i'm thankful for these memories other than the fact that i smile when remembering. my mission was filled with giggles. uncontrolable, disrespectful, irreverent giggles. things are funnier as a missionary but i'll tell this story anyway.
in one area we had to cross a highway multiple times a day. 2 lanes one way, a grass median, 2 lanes the other way. i was always trying to take the monotony out of mission life and one day i suggested to my companion, "how about we make a rule that every time we cross the road we have to run as fast as we can, as if we are running for our lives." the next day, as we stepped onto the road i yelled, "RUN!!!" and took off. my companion followed me with eyes wide with fear. when we got to the median she tripped on the curb and slid across the grass on her belly, spread eagle. she was short and plump (gained 40 lbs. on the mish.) so that makes a better visual. her bag went flying and the contents spilled. she popped up as fast as she had gone down, picked up her stuff and crossed the road without saying a word. she was an insecure person--which didn't make her humble but very selfconcious. this had hurt her pride and she was acting as if it didn't happen. as if she hadn't executed a perfect slide into home plate. i felt bad and i knew she didn't need me laughing at her but i could not help it. i held back as long as i could but once the smallest snicker left my mouth it was full-on doubled over laughter.
i was thinking about this last night in bed and trying not to laugh so i wouldn't wake up dan. i was afraid my shaking would wake him.

second one was playing strip uno at andy's with angie, sarah, ben, todd and andy. (was there anyone else?). the three people who lost had to streak down the street. somehow the girls won in a landslide. so the three boys, with one accessory each, had to run to the end of andy's street and back while we followed behind in the car. when they got to the corner we said they could get in and we would drive them back. fools! we just drove them around for awhile. and when we got back we dropped them off at the corner and made them run back. here is the part that makes me laugh to think about: todd was running, nude except for his belt (one accessory), slips on some ice and goes down hard. he had rasberries on his upper thigh and butt. i have pictures somewhere.

if i think of a good third one, i'l add it.

this is long so i think everyone should create their own post.

Month of Thanksgiving

in an effort to revive this blog i'm going to start a little thankful game for the month of november. one person picks a category and everyone lists the top things for which they are thankful in that category. like this:

Top Three EXPERIENCES I Am Thankful For

Katie:
1. mission life
2. going away to college
3. premarital sex. j/k. didn't experience that. swimming with dolphins. j/k. that was lame. this is harder than i thought. i wanted to list something specific but will go with something general instead: being a mother.

first one to add theirs gets to choose the next list. see how that works? please play along or you will be taken off the contributors list!

Walk Without Ryhthm and You Won't Attract The Worm

Of course I'm posting THIS video in response to Katie's challenge. Christopher Walken totally stole my signature move- "leap onto a table, kick everything off, tap-dance with tongue out, keep hands in pockets and pelvic thrust your way through hallways." But I never thought of the "float around a lobby" move, which is pretty awesome. And I don't have a creepy, stoic stare.
Advantage: Walken.

Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal

About a month or so ago my training was getting neglected and waking up to run after spending sleepless nights with a newborn was daunting. I had one last Saturday to get in a really long run before the marathon. I woke up hating that morning until I walked into the front room and a lovely new ipod shuffle was sitting on the counter. Wellz had surprised me with a new running companion filled with 3 hrs of songs. This is one of my favorites. The music is so heavenly.

Too much time on her hands

i couldn't get the video to load. i'm sure you've all seen it. i heard the song last night and was reminded of this daft hands video. (skip forward 50 seconds.)

this blog has been neglected. i challenge you all to come out of your funk by posting a youtube video.

Boy, Boy, and... boy

So these guys are about to have a little bro... it's official baby boy 3 is on his way. I'm way excited but since I'm out of boy names-- I've already used two favorite boy names and Michael has trumped all of my other favorite names not to mention about 30 nephews in the family with don't-use-this-name parents-- I'm opening it up to all of you. Given the awesome names of kido's in this blog group I'm hoping for a winner. So, send along any names (or advice for raising 3 kids 3 years old and younger) on my way. A big prize for the chosen name contributor.

And just think, in vitro to this. Who knew?

No privacy

I've been here in LaPoint at Kb's mom's house now for over 2 months & I'm having issues. We are only staying here to save money for a house & it's nice of them to let us invade but I seriously cannot get away from his mom.

She never leaves besides going to the temple every Friday for a few hours. If I want to be alone, I go in our room & what do you know......2 seconds later she is coming in. Sometimes she doesn't even knock. She has come in while I'm changing. It's like, if I leave her sight she has to come see what I'm doing.

Not only that, she tries to be mom to my kids. She tries to do everything that I CAN DO. She wants to iron the kids clothes for church, feed them, put them to bed, etc. I can't stand it. Sometimes I laugh & say, "I'm their mother & I can do it." Or, "I did it in my own home so why should it be different here?"

But, I say it totally joking because I can't hurt peoples feelings. What am I supposed to say to her to leave me alone! I don't want to be mean but I'm suffocating....seriously. This is hell.

Red Box

MCD808 Expires 9-30-2008

Almost there!

Super Greg

picture taken from the vantage point of me nursing Magnus

The Greg we all know and love was in town for his sister's wedding. We had a little impromptu party which involved tennis, swimming, and eating hoagies. If you haven't had the chance to look at Greg's face book page, you really should, his art is freakin' amazing. Greg showed up to the party wearing a Dixie High wrestling shirt. Bend 'em, bust 'em, that's our custom.
GO, FIGHT, WIN!

Survey

Hey, go to my blog and answer my survey. Please.

Round-the-world Dance

This Matt guy is one lucky brass turd. I can't believe he's still traveling.

Hey Erica - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

A Revolutionary New Idea

click on picture to enlarge. prepare to have your mind blown.

Happy belated birthday Heat

Heather....I would've called you on the day but all my numbers are gone. In fact, will you email me your number? ericanjensen@yahoo.com

I hope you had a great day!!!

Code for the Ladies

Here's the new Red Box code:

BIGMAC508 expires June 30th

Peruse: It's not what you think

So today at work I had to attend an all day training with some of the big-wigs from our region. I was so bugged the whole day. For some reason today I was hyper-aware of everyone misusing words or just making up words whenever it suited them. It was driving me crazy.

The biggest big-wig kept saying he was going to "assimilate" information to all the managers when what he meant was "disseminate". He also kept throwing "whom" around probably thinking it made him sound smarter, but it had the opposite effect since he didn't know how to use it. Some other girl kept saying she was "fustrated" instead of "frustrated" and I'm pretty sure at one point she said "for all intensive purposes." what?

I have a whole list of words that I notice people constantly use incorrectly. Sorry to be a grammar-Nazi, but here are some frequent offenders:

Peruse-to examine carefully, study thoroughly, scrutinize, inspect (thank you thesaurus). People always use this to mean they're going to quickly read or lightly skim over something. This word is used incorrectly so often that some dictionaries have added a 2nd definition that is pretty much the opposite of the real definition. I guess it's easier just to change a dictionary than to re-educate the entire population.

Irregardless is not a word. Regardless is a word.

'There's' instead of 'there are'- such as 'there's drinks in the fridge.' I realized how guilty I am of that one when I learned to speak a foreign language.

Off of-There is no need to ever follow the word "Off" with "of." Also "could of" should be "could have."

Pacific/specific-one of these is an ocean. Try to guess which one.

My English is far from perfect (as Craig so delicately pointed out) but those are a few of my peeves. What are yours? Are there words that drive you crazy when you hear people use them?

Gotta get me some of these PJ's!!!

Ok dudes, I know you've been looking for some jeans to show off your goodies! You can thank me later!! Here's the link.

"Introducing the newest thing in fashion since the leaf. Pictures show Adam and Eve both wearing a leaf, now someone can cover everything else and reveal the leaf. Pubic Jeans (PJ's), are jeans that have a patch that can be removed to reveal about 3 inches of the pubic area. When removed, the opening only shows about 3/4 of an inch worth of the pubic hair line and the rest is the skin above it. The idea behind the removable patch it so show a little more skin then low rise jeans allow."

Just thought this was halarious.

Jan Terri -- Losing You

so remember those shirts i posted about? i loved them so much, i returned to buy more in larger sizes. anyway, from their store site i linked over to their blog. pretty funny. they had this video and i was very impressed with jan's talent. i laughed more when i scrolled down to the comments and the first one said, "i hit myself in the balls when i saw this!!!"

Man, I REALLY got gypped in the talent department!

I saw this today and thought it was so unbelievable and amazing, I had to share it.


"You’ve heard the phrase an elephant never forgets? Well, here’s another example of the intelligence of these gentle giants. The elephant in this video, who was rescued from abusive treatment in Burma, actually paints a beautiful self-portrait!

Elephants are one of the most intelligent animals in the world. They have highly developed brains, with traits similar to humans, apes and dolphins.

In fact, even though this elephant may have been trained to paint pictures, elephants are known to display traits of self-awareness. For instance, if an elephant sees its image in a mirror, it may try to rub a smudge of dirt off its face. Elephants are also known to grieve, use tools, show a sense of humor, and also share in joyful events, such as gathering to greet a newborn."

So touched by their horrific backgrounds and loving personalities, ExoticWorldGifts.com now supports, "Starving Elephant Artisans" by selling their paintings so they can continue to have a new life in Thailand.
http://www.exoticworldgifts.com/

2 Parents, 2 Kids, 1 Dog and an RV

I just read this article about a family with two kids who bought an RV and are traveling the country for 16 months. The mom had a scare about how long she would live and decided to plan something big. All she could think about was spending more time with her family. They are doing a homeschooling program on the way for their kids who are 8 and 6. Here's their blog.
After our adventure to France we are completely incapable of funding something this rad but wouldn't it be sweet. I would totally be into homeschooling if going to cool places day after day were in the agenda.


Side note: I have 6 weeks left. My due date is June 1st. Dressing my belly is getting tricky and I've hit the hot flash phase.

For Angie....

Well since I am not a VIP to your blog....I'll have to tell you here. Your dad sung at church a few weeks back & he has such an amazing voice. Anavey was totally captivated. Do you sing too?

New Do

Why is it so hard for a stylist to believe you when you say, "not much shorter." i guess it is relative. i finally braved the bangs. i've been toying with them for years but never cut enough. i think i kinda like them for now. here are some pictures. i should totally go on america's next top model. i know how to work my angles. i was actually just trying to get a picture of the a-line. i had to edit the photos to make my blotchy-freckly-red-nosed face look a little better.

mormons, mormons everywhere

Has anyone else been noticing an awful lot of Mormons on TV lately?
Just last night I counted FIVE: Barr on HGTV, two American Idols (allegedly) , Glenn Beck and some chick on What Not To Wear named Kathryn Knudsen. Does anyone know her because I SWEAR I think I met her at USU. Was someone's girlfriend or cousin or something? I can't remember, but I know I've met her. Of course, there's also Mitt Romney and apparently one of the dancers on Dancing with the Stars. Probably a bunch of other closeted members too.
kind of off the subject but I watched the Pop Fiction where Avril pretends she is prego and her personality totally reminded me of Katie. (the Katie-ishness most apparent from 6 min to 6:30) Am I right or am I right? Or has it just been a really long time since we've hung out?

Park Pictures

when i was in st. g. a couple weekends ago, lacey and i met at the park. the stars all aligned and heather and asa even showed up before we left! this is the first time i have seen her since her baby shower for asa. and that's not due to lack of trying. don't feel bad erica, i think heather is one of those who take on their husband's friends and only visits hers in the blogging world.

i know you all can just hop on over to my family blog if you want to see pictures of fred. i'm posting these so you can see adan's cute round face.

Food Court Musical

no doubt if angie was there she'd be right in there doing jazz [trays], singing and dancing along even though she wasn't part of the group.

Surprise vacation for me!!!

Kb surprised me with a trip to Cabo San Lucas. We're trying to work it out. He knew I had to get out of this town (my personal hell) so we are going on an all-inclusive vacation for a week!!

We went to get our passports last week & I'm so excited. We're leaving May 12 & come home May 19. Ahhhh...one week kid free....I can't wait!! Everything is paid for....food, tips, all activites, etc.!!!

I'm also kinda nervous. One, because I'm not in shape. Two, because I haven't been on an airplane since middle school. And three, because I fear getting mugged or something. I am going to be working out hard to be able to wear my bikini I got. We'll see.

ASHLYNN: Dont' tell mom & dad yet. I have to ask them to watch the kids!!

Preach It, Baby!

I seriously love General Conference so much, I get super excited for it. So here's wishing you all a
Happy Conference Weekend!

Super Awesome April Fools Joke???

What. The. Hell.



funnny memory: Remember when Greg Mortenson gave a talk in Sacrament Meeting and listed his temptations by saying "Get Thee Hence Snoop Doggy Dawg" and "Get Thee Hence Hot Chick in a Tank Top" or something like that. Ohhhh Greg. You slay me.

Introducing Craig Tovey-Photographer Extraordinaire

Need some pictures taken? My friend Craig Tovey is a great photographer and sexy and funny to boot. Here's proof. And he's a boxer so he might be able to beat up your enemies in the Provo, Utah area. Call him and he will make all your wildest dreams come true.

Oh. speaking of photography, here are the Best Nature Photo award winners. Don't know if that's a real contest or not, but the pictures are pretty cool.

Rosetta Stone

Here is our plan. It includes a cousin who likes to learn new languages, a bro in law going to Brazil on his mission, and us who want to learn Portuguese. Matt said that when he went to this teachers of foreign language shenanigan everyone was raving about Rosetta Stone. The military uses it to teach their peeps the language of the country they get sent to. Supposedly it is a really excellent and fast way to learn a language. But kinda expensive for us ($200 for one level). So we are going to split the cost three ways. Adam gets to have it until he leaves for Brazil, then we get it, then cousin Russ. Portuguese is my favorite language and I have always wanted to learn it. If it is a good program then Russ and us will split the cost for levels two and three as well. I can't wait to start! A lot of people ask Matt and I to teach them Spanish but I think this is probably a better idea. Wouldn't it be cool to learn a new language every couple years?! Every time a relative gets called on a foreign mission, everyone could start learning that particular language together. If anyone is interested... popular languages are always available used on ebay for a lot less. There haven't been any Portuguese ones lately.

Do you think she remembers?

I'm being serious.....it's funny but every time I get changed in front of Anavey & she sees my boobs she points to them & says, "uh, uh, uh, uh!" Every time without fail. Do you think she remembers breastfeeding?

If not, then what is she saying I wonder. Hope she's not making fun of me.

Update on my rampage alert

So I called & called & left messages for the teacher to call me back. She never did. I didn't want to confront her because I hate confrontation so I cower over the phone.

Finally yesterday I called & said that I needed to speak to her now so get her on the phone....please.

I told you she was a beast. I explained the problem & this is what she said.
"Yep, that's right. Kids are only allowed to go to the bathroom at recess." Did she hear a word I said???

So, calling her did no good. She still won't let Ethan go to the bathroom if he asks. What is her freaking problem?

Outta My Way, I Gotsta Get Me a Coupon!

This weekend Tye and I went on an "Adults Only Easter Egg Hunt." It was super fun. It was 10 bucks to enter, and they had some pretty good prizes like an all-inclusive vacation to Cancun, restaurant certificates, etc. It was held in a HUGE park that covers over 2 square miles and they dropped 10,000 eggs and handed out maps. There was also a live band and barbeque from a local restaurant.

Anyway, the hunt was hysterical! Imagine 3,000 adults dressed in bunny ears and carrying Easter baskets, crushed against the starting line and counting down, " 3….2….1….GO!" and then they all start running like mad!
Then, seriously like 30 yards later before they had even gotten to where the eggs were, everyone is doubled over, hands on knees, gasping for breath, almost to collapse. That's the advantage of racing against fat midwesterners. You can beat them if you can run more than 100 ft. It was absolutely hilarious!! Tye and I were dying laughing. I wanted to stop and film all these crazed grown-ups running wildly, pushing & shoving to be the first to collect some plastic egss, but we had a PLAN of ATTACK so there was no time for dilly dally (Mostly our plan of attack just consisted of wearing headlamps and Tye shouting “Reconnoiter 15!!” at random intervals).

Little did we know our plan was child’s play compared with other people. This guy next to us had a 3-stage strike planned, with accomplices planted all over the park. They had walkie talkies and were saying into them (totally deadpan) “meet at juncture 4 at 21 hundred hours”. Everyone was taking it so seriously. Including us. Later we found out some of the "prizes" were just samples of Pantene or Tide like you sometimes get in the mail, or coupons for an oil change. All we won was a free car wash (dangit) but where ever Tye and I end up living, I am FO SHO going to organize an event like this but with better prizes. Be there!

note to Mindi: My blog is not so much super-secret, but I NEVER post anything on it so it seems boring. But having it private makes me seem MYSTERIOUS and ALLURING rather than boring, so I go that route. Someday soon I'll unlock it and start posting about compelling and fascinating topics but till then you are welcome to comment here. The Spendlove Fam also has a blog that is usually pretty boring too, but you can check it out if you want.

Barr the Builder

For those of you that know Barr, you may not have heard that he is going to be a TV STAR!! He has a gig on HGTV on the show "Designed to Sell" as their carpenter. His first episode airs April 8th (check your local listing for time).

Also, he is getting married on May 10 in Utah to a girl named Marcy. He came to St. Louis to hang out with Tye in Feb and I've never seen him so happy. He is on Facebook if you want to send him a note.

Red Box

MCSKLLT308

Expires 4 30 2008

Kiss Me, I'm Oirish

Happy St. Patty's Day everyone. Hope you get LUCKY today.

*Rampage alert*

So this is my rampage......maybe.

The kids have been out all week for spring break but earlier this week when I was doing wash, I noticed that a couple pair of Ethan's jeans were wet. I smelled them & yup....it's pee. I asked him why he would pee his pants since he's almost 10. (He has always had a problem with this but I thought he had overcome it)

He told me that his teacher wouldn't let him go to the bathroom at school. His teacher is a beast. She's really old & mean but she's always been kind to me & Ethan so I let it slide. I have a serious problem with this because I had the same problem when I was little. We must have really small bladders or something because I peed my pants a lot!

It especially hits home because once when i was in 3rd grade (just as Ethan is) I asked to go to the bathroom at lunch time. The teacher said no & I ended up peeing my pants & sitting in my pee pants the rest of the day. All the kids were making fun of me & telling me that I stunk. I lied & said that I spilled milk on myself at lunch.

Question: How should I handle this. I'm so mad that I feel like I would come across really rude & then it would ruin our relationship. What should I say to her? It's not like this has happened once. Ethan said he has peed his pants a few times because she would not let him go.

Science project

Ethan's science project was to see if hot sauce would clean pennies. I was looking online to find some good pictures of Taco Bell & pennies & came across this picture. I thought it would be funny to put the Taco Bell dog on.

Good thing I looked up this phrase on google translator. It means, "I want bitches". That probably wouldn't have been to funny to a lot of the spanish speaking parents & students.

I really need to learn spanish.

happy leap year day

http://video.dotcomedy.com/player/?id=184580

i don't know what this video has to do with anything, I just like Beth and Val.

attention

moms and future moms or gift-givers. i just stocked up on t-shirts for fred at fooey. short sleeved shirts are $5. free shipping if you spend $60. take a look.

Corporate America

Mmmm yaaaaa, I'm gonna have to go ahead and tell you about my job, kay? Due to a long series of events that I won't bore you with, I am temporarily working in a cubicle at our corporate office. My days are like all the worst/most annoying scenes from Office Space and The Office.

Common occurrences:

~discussions round the watercooler about American Idol. (I'm convinced that not a single person under the age of 50 votes for "their" favorite idol.)

~little posters/mugs that say "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps!" with a picture of a wet kitten or cross-eyed monkey. or some variation on that.

~dude with a mullet that walks around all day Every day with a cup of coffee from McDonalds and 'just stops in' at your cubicle to make inane small talk: "Cold enough for ya?", "Is it Friday yet? heh heh", "Are you working hard or hardly working?" or "Smile, it's not that bad."

~old guy with smokers cough always talking crap about his wife and laughing really loud in a wheezing, someb0dy-call-the-paramedics type of laugh.

~people stop by your cubicle and start off by saying "Knock Knock"--this one is contagious as I have found myself saying it a couple times. UGH.

my home away from home--sorry, no plants, family pictures or stuffed animals here.

Seriously though, NO ONE can rock "Cubicle Chic" like I can, complete with jazzy elevator muzak and flickering fluorescent lights. AND I have an EXTENSION: 54365 should you have any Administrative Emergencies. and I have about a dozen pairs of "slacks" in varying shades of grey and brown.

The fact that there is volume control for Muzak is totally mystifying to me. Why would you choose any volume other than "Off"? Even more confusing is the fact that the knob can not be turned without a wrench or some sort of tool (believe me, I've tried). It's torture, too cruel even for Gitmo.

For The Record: I have never--nor will I ever--utter the words "cool beans

tear up this town

i didn't forget. i promised another picture for my week-in-photos gig. can't live in lehi and not be proud of the roller mill.

everybody cut footloose.

do over?

Anyone want to try Book Club again? Someone suggest a book for March.

Tree man

So sad.

Monday morning video

monday mornings pretty much suck so i'm going to kick off the week again with a video.
some Brak favorites:

i'm so excited!...

i'm so scared!
i saw this shirt on a blog.

from this episode:

happy v-day

Happy Valentines Day!!

Sadly, I don't think I'll be getting one of these this year. I guess I'll have to settle for some sugar cookies!

Muffins Make Monday Morning Merrier

I know this is old, but it still makes me laugh every time. Have a good Monday!

go fug yourself

not a nice name, i know. i guess this is what is called a "guilty pleasure." it is a blog devoted to making fun of what celebrities are wearing. why do i care about what celebrities are wearing? i don't. that much. especially since most of the pictures are from the red carpet. i will never need a red carpet outfit. but what i really like about this site is the writing. it is very witty and clever. sometimes the posts are a little lengthy and i don't read them but sometimes they really make me laugh. like the "well played amanda bynes" post. (sometimes they are nice)

Oh, Amanda Bynes. You're so nice and person-colored now.

And that gown is totally gorgeous -- love that peacock color, love the bodice, love the flirty layers at the bottom, love the way it fits her. The hair might be a little twee, but you know what? I don't care today. That's right. Dare I say it, I'm in a GOOD MOOD, and looking at this dress only enhances it -- like frosting on an already really yummy piece of carrot cake. I am pretty sure that those boys in the background are trying really hard not to stare at her, but inside, are totally stoked that Hot Amanda Bynes is standing mere feet from them and are planning to tell all their friends tomorrow that they held her hand and that she promised they'd get married in 15 years. Or, you know, whatever it is that boys do. Having no brothers, I can't say for sure. Doodling your names jointly inside a big heart all over a spiral notebook and then frantically doing MASH, trying to cheat so that you end up married, living in a mansion, driving a Ferrari, working as a movie star, having three kids, and owning stacks of emeralds, seems like it's more of a girly response.

anyway, check it out for a laugh.

Tribute

I liked this.

The show

I just thought I'd share my thoughts on the show.

Heat didn't go:( I was sad.
Ash didn't go either:( I was sad.
Saw lots of hippies:( I was suprised.
Got hit on by a Euro dude:( I was annoyed.
Ethan got to see guitars live:) I was happy!
Saw lots of old friends:) I was happy!
Thought I gave Nate a compliment but he took it as a slam:( I was annoyed again.
Played foosball with Ethan:) Yeah! I won.
Ate a chocolate muffin & drank a gatorade:) I had to pee.
Their band is good:)

I had fun. I was just bummed that Heather & Ash weren't there.
I was totally going to take a picture & I forgot with Ethan asking me for food every 2 seconds. I had my camera & everything. Sorry!!!

Flight of the Conchords- Business Time

Funny.

World's tightest jeans

My sis-in-law just sent me this picture. Too nasty not to share. Enjoy!!!

The St. George Super Group

Travis Roberts band is playing this Saturday at 9 o'clock. Come to the Jazzy Java for a real party. Nate Torgerson, Sean Taylor, and Juddy are also in his band. They will be playing some Trigger Locks songs among others. Since they are such a conglomerate you will hear lots of faves throughout the years. Maybe even Sick of You from Soulfish. Maybe. Perhaps you'll even hear Mass Appeal or Misfit.

Spread the word. They are praying for a big crowd.

Erica, Travis said to make sure we invited you personally. See you there.

5 pounds-help

Ok girls, I want to lose 5 pounds. It doesn't seem like much but my weight hasn't bugded for about 6 months now. I know my problem...I'm an under-eater. Not because I don't want to eat, I just forget. It's easy to forget when I'm running around all day or cleaning the house. I just don't think about it. Then when I realize that I'm starving, it's to late & I panic eat. Meaning, I eat way to much for fear of dying I guess.

So, I'm going to try eating every 2 hours. I'm not a diet girl...just never have been. I just don't know if there are easy fast foods I can eat every couple hours. If i can have a granola bar & then some beef jerky or something that would be great. I don't think those are the foods you are supposed to eat. Does anyone do this?

Not being back to my original pre-baby weight just irks me. Yeah, I'm healthy but who cares? I need to lose these 5 pounds.

Jerry O...my favorite person today

rarely do i laugh out loud at something on the internet. this did it. if you haven't seen the original then this won't make sense. of course, the original makes no sense at all. (sorry i couldn't get the video to load.)

Red Box Codes

ARCH1207 expires 1-31-08

mcevm108 expires 2-29-08

Jinxed

Alright, all this talk of bad hair cuts & bad experiences has totally jinxed me. I'm crying!

Today I went in for a cut & color. I got there at the salon at 10:30 am. I left at 3:30 pm. No joke...I was there for 5 hours & when I left I was literally crying. I decided to put some golden brown highlights in with my dark color. The color looks great everywhere except for the inch by my scalp. It looks like my roots grew out & I had naturally yellow hair. The highlights an inch away from my head are a pretty reddish golden brown but the yellowy-orange...not so much. She also wacked it off. I told her to put some subtle layers in because my hair was getting so heavy from the length. She then decided to thin it out. I don't want my hair thinned out! She said I had to much hair.

Anyways, I'm making her fix it tomorrow & I'm not going to church. Yep-it's that bad.

P.S. Heather's hair is really cute. It's not shaved...just really short.

quick!

i've got a dr. apt. tomorrow to get birth control. i don't want to do the pill--i really suck at remembering. i was thinking idu but have no idea what kind. any advice?

Clearing the air...

Ok...here's the deal. I hate when people talk about me & don't just talk to me. I know it's a sensitive subject but you all can ask me anything & I'll tell you straight up. I've never been afraid to tell people my life story. I just don't want to post it on my personal blog & have some weird stalker come & get me in the night you know? I'm scared of dudes. If you've wondered why Kb hasn't been in my blog lately here's why...

Fact...I am seperated from KB
Fact...Nothing's official yet
Fact...I deserve to be treated good
Fact...It was totally my decision
Fact...He's totally kissing my ass
Fact...It's complicated
Fact...I'm still happy
Fact...He's trying to win me back
Fact...I love him dearly
Fact...He loves me too
Fact...He's been gone since November
Fact...He's working in Wyoming on the oil field
Fact...I am a great wife
Fact...I'm really lonely but do great on my own
Fact...I hide it well
Fact...I'm scared because I don't know where my life is going
Fact...I need friends & support

Fiction...I'm going for a record on how many marriages I can have
Fiction...He left me
Fiction...I'm a crazy psycho that sucks at marriage
Fiction...I make good choices

On that note....I'm an extremely happy person that doesn't care what others think. Some people might be offended by the fact that I've been married twice & maybe divorced twice...I'm sorry about that.
So there is my story. Sorry to be a bummer.

Wishing I looked as good as Sinead in her younger years.

The other night while Wellz was talking on the phone I became very impatient with my hair. Getting my hair cut by professionals always make me nervous. Not because I think they will mess up but I really hate feeling trapped for an hour or two with a complete stranger with forced conversation. I don't know any good friends that cut hair so I always choose someone new. Plus I'm not really a hair person. I have really thin and fine hair, like a baby. It never looks pretty and it isn't one of my good physical qualities.
So the other night I pulled out the clippers and shaved my head. Having short hair doesn't bother me but I do get a lot of stares. I'm not insecure about people thinking I am a boy (AM I A BOY?) because I have huge pregnant boobs and a matching belly.
Usually I cut my hair because of depression so when Wellz walked in and saw my hair he replied "Heat, what's wrong? Do we need to talk?"

I'm fine. Although this morning I found seven gray hair and now I'm feeling pretty old.

ps Never become pregnant or shave your head if you don't like to be touched by complete strangers.

Baby Names

when i was at the gunn's my prego friend came over. they haven't decided on a name so danika and i started spurting off names. i've always been interested in names. when the sears catalogue would come at Christmas time i would make a list of my pretend family--usually about 8 kids mostly boys--give them names and then shop for them. little did i know how incapable i would be of mothering 8 kids. who knew it took energy and patience. and being pregnant.
anytime i had a crush or dated a guy i would try out my favorite names with their last names. even if i had no intention of being serious. i've kept lists of names in my journals. in 92 i had grant and andrew but later crossed that off because i started dating andy. in 94 i had hank and ethan (this was before the mad rush to name your boy that), chandler (friends?), tabitha. in 96 i had stella and hazel (temple view r.v.). i pretty much stuck with stella and fred and even ran them by dan before we got married. he said they were fine...until i got prego and he nixed stella. i was VERY upset. seriously, it caused tension in our marriage. it was hard picking a name for chloe. dan didn't like any i liked. like evie. i liked clover too (it came to me while in the temple--hello, revelation!?) but a lot of people had started naming their kids river and other in-tune-with-nature names so i was afraid of being grouped with the hippies. i've tried to get dan to let me change her name to clover-- he could still call her chloe--but he won't let me. her middle name is belen. i heard it on my mission. it means bethlehem.
delivering chloe was not fun so before i got prego again i made dan promise to let me have naming rights. i was happy to have a girl so i could use the name stella. the day i found out i was having a girl i read a magazine that predicted stella as the up-coming popular name. lame. her middle name is kate.
and fred. when i was in highschool i saw an episode of oprah (weird, i don't care much for her). she had on this society, nation-wide club thingy of guys named fred. there was a cute little toddler. that's when i realized a cute kid (or one with a good personality) could get away with any name. and since my gpa is a legend to his bazillion grand and great-grandkids, i decided i would name a kid after him. but of course when i finally have a boy its becoming popular to give your kid a grandpa name. for the record, even though it appears that i'm following the trends, i'm actually ahead of them. we had a really hard time deciding on a middle name. we made a huge list. each of us chose 5 and then we gave them a score of 1-10. everett came in 2nd with owen and maddox tied for 1st. i let dan make the final choice. fred maddox. (he didn't know it was a celebrity baby name so he wasn't following a trend. ) if he was a girl i liked petra and dan suggested olive. which surprised me because its a good name and he hates olives. our next boy (through adoption) will be named clive.
heather, do you have names picked out? anyway, what names do you guys like or why did you choose the ones you used? stake your claim here.
sorry for the long post...one last thing. according to the howmanyofme.com site there are only 2 katie lariviere's. and very few boys named sue.