I'm gonna bust in and break up the Thanks for a minute because I just have to tell this. Three things happened today that I found so abnormal. Is it the country thing? Maybe a little bit of imbreeding? I don't know.
First, I'm at Ace Hardware buying some yeast. This girl ringing me up starts telling me about a girl that is getting it on with her boyfriend. Then she proceeds to tell me how she's gonna kick her ass after work. Yeah, she said, "I'm gonna kick that bitch's ass after work." I was thinking WHOA!!! I don't know you.....maybe this isn't appropriate work talk.....you know, common sense. That was totally weird.
Second. I drive through McDonald's [Word up Heat!!] & when I go to pay a dollar falls to the ground. I didn't even have time to say anything about it. The guy just jumps out of the window & squeezes in between the wall & my truck which was really tight. He tells me he got it & that I could go. I was seriously so close to the wall I didn't want to drive off but he insisted. I freaking hit him with my truck! He totally just shook it off & jumped back into the window. That was also very odd to me.
Third. This is why I posted here & not my blog. I was buying a pregnancy test at the dollar store & not because I think I'm pregnant but I'm obsessed with taking pregnancy tests. I love it & they are only a buck so why not. Anyhow, the girl rings up all my stuff & the test last. She says really loud, "UH-OH!" I just look at her & look away but then she continues. "Are you even married?" I tell her yes. "Do you have other kids?" I tell her 3. She starts laughing & is acting like this is some awful thing & probably a mistake. There was 3 people behind me so I felt really stupid. "GOOD LUCK" she yells at me as I'm walking out of the store. Who does that?!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Advice I'm Thankful For...
So I've been thinking and thinking and can not come up with a single funny memory. I will keep thinking and post some when I think of them, but I thought I'd throw out another topic: Advice/Council you've received that you're thankful for.
Here are my top 3
1. "The great deals will always outlast the money." By nature I'm a saver, but I get sucked into spending sometimes just because things are on sale. I often think of this advice when I'm tempted to buy something that I don't really need just because it's a great deal.
2. This one comes from Dr. Laura/my sister-in-law Michelle. The gist of it is "You only need to do 3 things to make your husband completely adore you: 1-Feed him. 2-Have sex with him. 3-Thank/praise him." That's it. He'll be putty in your hands.
3. "Lengthen Your Stride" Once I thought my life was so crazy and stressful and full of challenges so I asked Tye for a blessing. The main message of that blessing was "Lengthen your Stride, try harder, serve more." I realized it wasn't really that I had so many challenges but that I'd become accustomed to my cake-walk life and I was just being a wimp. Sounds harsh but it was totally true.
Here are my top 3
1. "The great deals will always outlast the money." By nature I'm a saver, but I get sucked into spending sometimes just because things are on sale. I often think of this advice when I'm tempted to buy something that I don't really need just because it's a great deal.
2. This one comes from Dr. Laura/my sister-in-law Michelle. The gist of it is "You only need to do 3 things to make your husband completely adore you: 1-Feed him. 2-Have sex with him. 3-Thank/praise him." That's it. He'll be putty in your hands.
3. "Lengthen Your Stride" Once I thought my life was so crazy and stressful and full of challenges so I asked Tye for a blessing. The main message of that blessing was "Lengthen your Stride, try harder, serve more." I realized it wasn't really that I had so many challenges but that I'd become accustomed to my cake-walk life and I was just being a wimp. Sounds harsh but it was totally true.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Funny Memories
per Danika's request. Tell us what funny memories you are thankful for.
Katie:
I don't know why i'm thankful for these memories other than the fact that i smile when remembering. my mission was filled with giggles. uncontrolable, disrespectful, irreverent giggles. things are funnier as a missionary but i'll tell this story anyway.
in one area we had to cross a highway multiple times a day. 2 lanes one way, a grass median, 2 lanes the other way. i was always trying to take the monotony out of mission life and one day i suggested to my companion, "how about we make a rule that every time we cross the road we have to run as fast as we can, as if we are running for our lives." the next day, as we stepped onto the road i yelled, "RUN!!!" and took off. my companion followed me with eyes wide with fear. when we got to the median she tripped on the curb and slid across the grass on her belly, spread eagle. she was short and plump (gained 40 lbs. on the mish.) so that makes a better visual. her bag went flying and the contents spilled. she popped up as fast as she had gone down, picked up her stuff and crossed the road without saying a word. she was an insecure person--which didn't make her humble but very selfconcious. this had hurt her pride and she was acting as if it didn't happen. as if she hadn't executed a perfect slide into home plate. i felt bad and i knew she didn't need me laughing at her but i could not help it. i held back as long as i could but once the smallest snicker left my mouth it was full-on doubled over laughter.
i was thinking about this last night in bed and trying not to laugh so i wouldn't wake up dan. i was afraid my shaking would wake him.
second one was playing strip uno at andy's with angie, sarah, ben, todd and andy. (was there anyone else?). the three people who lost had to streak down the street. somehow the girls won in a landslide. so the three boys, with one accessory each, had to run to the end of andy's street and back while we followed behind in the car. when they got to the corner we said they could get in and we would drive them back. fools! we just drove them around for awhile. and when we got back we dropped them off at the corner and made them run back. here is the part that makes me laugh to think about: todd was running, nude except for his belt (one accessory), slips on some ice and goes down hard. he had rasberries on his upper thigh and butt. i have pictures somewhere.
if i think of a good third one, i'l add it.
this is long so i think everyone should create their own post.
Katie:
I don't know why i'm thankful for these memories other than the fact that i smile when remembering. my mission was filled with giggles. uncontrolable, disrespectful, irreverent giggles. things are funnier as a missionary but i'll tell this story anyway.
in one area we had to cross a highway multiple times a day. 2 lanes one way, a grass median, 2 lanes the other way. i was always trying to take the monotony out of mission life and one day i suggested to my companion, "how about we make a rule that every time we cross the road we have to run as fast as we can, as if we are running for our lives." the next day, as we stepped onto the road i yelled, "RUN!!!" and took off. my companion followed me with eyes wide with fear. when we got to the median she tripped on the curb and slid across the grass on her belly, spread eagle. she was short and plump (gained 40 lbs. on the mish.) so that makes a better visual. her bag went flying and the contents spilled. she popped up as fast as she had gone down, picked up her stuff and crossed the road without saying a word. she was an insecure person--which didn't make her humble but very selfconcious. this had hurt her pride and she was acting as if it didn't happen. as if she hadn't executed a perfect slide into home plate. i felt bad and i knew she didn't need me laughing at her but i could not help it. i held back as long as i could but once the smallest snicker left my mouth it was full-on doubled over laughter.
i was thinking about this last night in bed and trying not to laugh so i wouldn't wake up dan. i was afraid my shaking would wake him.
second one was playing strip uno at andy's with angie, sarah, ben, todd and andy. (was there anyone else?). the three people who lost had to streak down the street. somehow the girls won in a landslide. so the three boys, with one accessory each, had to run to the end of andy's street and back while we followed behind in the car. when they got to the corner we said they could get in and we would drive them back. fools! we just drove them around for awhile. and when we got back we dropped them off at the corner and made them run back. here is the part that makes me laugh to think about: todd was running, nude except for his belt (one accessory), slips on some ice and goes down hard. he had rasberries on his upper thigh and butt. i have pictures somewhere.
if i think of a good third one, i'l add it.
this is long so i think everyone should create their own post.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Month of Thanksgiving
in an effort to revive this blog i'm going to start a little thankful game for the month of november. one person picks a category and everyone lists the top things for which they are thankful in that category. like this:
Top Three EXPERIENCES I Am Thankful For
Katie:
1. mission life
2. going away to college
3. premarital sex. j/k. didn't experience that. swimming with dolphins. j/k. that was lame. this is harder than i thought. i wanted to list something specific but will go with something general instead: being a mother.
first one to add theirs gets to choose the next list. see how that works? please play along or you will be taken off the contributors list!
Top Three EXPERIENCES I Am Thankful For
Katie:
1. mission life
2. going away to college
3. premarital sex. j/k. didn't experience that. swimming with dolphins. j/k. that was lame. this is harder than i thought. i wanted to list something specific but will go with something general instead: being a mother.
first one to add theirs gets to choose the next list. see how that works? please play along or you will be taken off the contributors list!
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Walk Without Ryhthm and You Won't Attract The Worm
Of course I'm posting THIS video in response to Katie's challenge. Christopher Walken totally stole my signature move- "leap onto a table, kick everything off, tap-dance with tongue out, keep hands in pockets and pelvic thrust your way through hallways." But I never thought of the "float around a lobby" move, which is pretty awesome. And I don't have a creepy, stoic stare.
Advantage: Walken.
Advantage: Walken.
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