I've had something on my mind, so much so that it motivated me to blog. :) For the past 10 years I have called Shane on his birthday, weather we were dating or not, married, single etc. Two days ago I sent him a text saying happy birthday and asked when good time would be to get in touch. His reply, "my wife gets upset when I talk to you, but I think she'll be ok if we use facebook." My response, "sorry, I surely didn't mean to cause problems." At the time I felt like I understood, but now that a few days have passed I think it's super lame! Why can't we still catch up? Seriously what is the threat?
I've tried to look at it through his wife's eyes, but Im just not the jealous type. Last time Chad was in SLC he looked up on old girl friend, one that he hadn't talked to in years. Didn't bother me a bit, I guess because he was open and honest about it.
Is is asking to much to remain friends with your X's?
4 comments:
dan hasn't kept in touch with any of his ex's. i wouldn't mind if he was friends with them on facebook or via email or even in person (with spouses in tow). but i would think it was weird if he called them on their bday. but only because it is dan. he doesn't remember bdays well and he doesn't call people to catch up.
lacey, you are so good at keeping in touch with people. but if shane isn't the type to make calls to old friends just to chat, then i understand how this would seem weird to his wife.
I'm not the jealous type either, I think it's because I'm pretty secure in my relationship and don't feel threatened by X's or other women. I've had a few friendships/past relationships that I've had to let go because it got weird, which is a total bummer. It's sad but I just think to myself "the best way to be a friend to this person now is to let go so that all the memories are good ones"
the bummer of this is that it sounds like the wife's problem, not yours. she's either insecure or knows cheaters, or she had some freaky young women's leader that scared her or whatever. all of that aside, she is the wife so now you play by her rules... lame as they may be. i have one x whose wife is still pretty weird around me. i don't get it, and it's sad when we really did date someone after becoming friends and still maintain that status despite the spouse, but friends are second no matter how crazy the spouse is.
Thanks Guys I'm over it. Took me a few days of grieving and now it's done.
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