Tuesday, April 10, 2007

America's Finest News Source

A few years ago while visiting New York City I came across THE ONION. It's satire at it's best. It's like normal newspapers but way more funny. Check it out and add it to your daily, weekly, or monthly reads. Here's a few examples of my favorite articles:

Cool Dad A Terrible Father

Taco Bell's Five Ingredients Combined in Totally New Way

Warning: The "F-Bomb" is occasionally dropped.

7 comments:

Ashlynn {mamabear} said...

Are these real stories? I've heard the dad one before but I thought it had a different ending - like a dumb forwarded email.

angerine said...

the whole website so tongue-in-cheek, innit? i was totally amused by the Taco Bell one. I like that the number of ingredients is absolute, but the different shapes & combinations of those 5 ingredients is Infinite! Revolutionary!!

sra. pistola said...

The Onion articles were hilarious! Speaking of Dads trying to be cool Matt let Abe talk him into letting him ride shot gun to play soccer with some Mexican kids around the corner. Here is a letter to the editor we found in the Standard Examiner October 27th, 2005... the unidentified father and son are Matt and Abe. Enjoy.....

"Recently, my husband and I were parked at Horace Mann School, awaiting our son's AWOL soccer coach. While waiting, we watched a man and his toddler son leave the playaground. They approached a minivan, and both climbed into the front seat. The child was not placed in the back , and was not put ina car seat (yes, there was a car seat in the back.)
He was, in fact, allowed to standin the front seat as his daddy started the van and backed out. I shouted, "Put that kid in a car seat, what's wrong with you?" No response just a glare.
As the van pulled onto 9th street, the passenger-side door flew open, and the toddler came crashing down to the asphalt in the middle of the road. I have no idea how badly the child was injured. All I saw was a vicious road rash up his spine, with a fair bit of blood and a lot of screaming. I hope the little boy is OK.
Had I the thought at the time, I would have called teh police and reported his father for criminal stupididty. I can only hope the child's mother clouted teh idiotic father about the head for risking her child's life.
It only takes a moment to strap a child in, and it only takes a moment to kill that same child through sheer negligence. Seems an easy choice, doesn't it?"
Krista Thompson-Ogden

We don't like to baby our kids either. Since this happend we have never had to argue with Abe about getting in his car seat. He wont' even let us start the car without his seat belt on.

angerine said...

Dude, I always thought Chia would end up playing the lead role of "unidentified negligent father in a minivan" in a scandalous news article.
That is so funny and I'm glad that Abe is now converted to seatbelt safety. A bit of road rash clearly goes a long way in convincing a kid to buckle up.
Apparently that holier-than-thou lady is a perfect parent and will always make every decision wisely so that her child doesn't have to.

sra. pistola said...

We thought it was kinda funny that she didn't come over to help but one of the Mexicans ran clear across the field to see if he could help.
Matt said he never heard anyone yell at hime and certainly didn't glare at anyone.
Also (by miracle) Abe only had four little dots up his spine that did not equal the description in her article.
Matt was scared to death when Abe went flying out but we do get a laugh out of him making the paper in this way.

Loose said...

Holy crap that's classic!

Meg said...

I totally love these stories! They are hilarious!! Now when I am bored or depressed I will just read a couple of these stories.